


Going Back

by just_desserts



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon Gay Relationship, Developing Relationship, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, M/M, Matchmaker Natasha Romanov, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Stony - Freeform, Thor Fangirls over Stony, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Undercover Missions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-04-26 23:12:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5024326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_desserts/pseuds/just_desserts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers fell for Tony, a man who is loved like the plague by millions of adoring fans. He understands though that Tony will never feel the same way, never realize that Steve cares about him as more than just a teammate. At first he doesn't know what to do, how to act around the billionaire genius with this knowledge. He never expected to fall in love with a man is all, though he sees that it's more accepted today. What he doesn't realize is that Natasha and an undercover mission into Paris will make him see what he truly wants.<br/>Tony Stark has always had a slight bro-crush on his teammate, Steve. He kept his distance, let Steve get acclimated to this new century he was thrust into with a little help from Tony himself. Yet part of him has been yearning to find that person he can make breakfast with and actually enjoy the early hours of the morning, that person that can make his toxic coffee just the way he likes it, to hide in the shadows and eavesdrop, to look at him like he's cherished and not just an object. And he's found all of that in Steve. Now it's just a matter of finding that part of him that Steve might love back.<br/>Stony A/U Post-Avengers (2012)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In the Dead of Night

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, thank you so so much for reading this fanfic, the first Stony I've attempted at writing. It's been a long work in progress and I may have never posted it if two of my very good friends hadn't made me... *^_^* So if you enjoy this it's thanks to them.  
> I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it! Carry on...

"Captain,"

Steve's eyes flew open, ending his somewhat pleasant dreams in an instant. His body went taught with anticipation but upon seeing it was Tony he visibly relaxed. Questions started forming immediately though as to why he was there.

"God, Tony, would you stop that?" His voice whispered in husky tones.

"What? Appearing at your bedside isn't good enough for you? Do I have to tickle you awake to get you to lighten up next time?" Tony whispered back, his face illuminated by light coming from the doorway.

Steve suppressed a smile and instead sat up with a yawn. "I'm not sure that'd get me to lighten up,"

Tony sighed dramatically. "Well I don't plan to do anything else to get you to wake up pleasantly. Especially not turn into a vampire for the sake of sticking to the Twilight plot." He pulled back the covers on Steve's bed and made a hand gesture to get up, his eyes bright with excitement and slight bafflement.

Steve rubbed his eyes and tried his best to glare at the shorter man. "What's the rush? I swear, if this is another late night pudding incident-" He mumbled and glanced at the clock which read 2:47 am.

He turned back to Tony and was going to say something about how nobody in their right frame of mind would wake another person at such an early hour when Stark crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, nodding his head towards the door, as if to say You don't want to miss this, Rodgers.

Steve raised an eyebrow himself but didn't question it, instead slowly lifting himself out of the spacious bed and onto the hardwood floor. Pulling down his shirt out of embarrassment, he gently padded to the door, lifting up on the smooth metal handle and barely prying it open.

The first thing he noticed was the faint light that flooded through the crack. It was coming from around the corner, probably the overhead light in the kitchen of Stark Tower's top floor. This already seemed odd to him, but it made him more nervous when he heard voices. Two to be sure.

One was most definitely Agent Barton, that much Steve was sure of. The other was female, so that most certainly ruled out Thor or Banner unless they had been recently hit in between the legs.

Steve managed to open the door wider and slip through the small crack, tip toeing around the corner so he could hear better. He felt Tony follow him, his short frame behind him like a dark shadow at his back. This felt so out of place, to be snooping around the Tower in the dead of night, especially when he was doing the snooping with Tony. But Steve tried to clear these thoughts out of his head and instead focus on the childish task at hand.

"-feel that he's not ready for the modern world." Clint was saying, presumably with a brooding expression on his stone-like features. "He's not ready for what's out there."

Steve heard Natasha scoff quietly. "Then you didn't see how well he defended New York with us, Clint. He was saving the civilians when all we thought of was defending the city." She sighed, and Steve's brow creased at the compassion she showed towards whoever they were talking about. "He may be the whole reason we're here in the first place. He was the start of us after all. Besides, he's the most fit out of all of us to go."

Steve glanced at the shadows the two of them made on the floor. They stayed silent for awhile, neither of them turning their way, but rather remained facing each other.

"I hope you're right, Tasha." Clint whispered, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Otherwise he may be the end of us too,"

"He'll control it. The Stars and Stripes don't just stand for his country, Clint. They stand for bravery, for compassion, for strength. He'll be strong enough to withstand whatever's thrown at him. He always has been."

Only then did Steve realize they were talking about him. He'd assumed it was Banner, or Thor, or Tony. Anyone but him. He didn't think he was worth a hushed conversation in the middle of the night.

Glancing back at Tony, he saw the concern in his eyes, though it was replaced just as quickly with his usual smugness, as if he were saying Told you so. His dark eyes moved back to Steve's room and he slowly moved towards the door. Watching the two agents stand face to face for another fleeting moment, Steve managed to not sigh in confusion as he followed Tony and shut the door with an inaudible click.

"See? Was that not worth listening to?"

He finally let out his sigh, frustration seeping into his thoughts. "What was that all about?" Steve whispered into the dark room, his eyes not yet adjusting to the blackness around him. He managed to shuffle towards his bed and sit down, feeling Tony do the same.

"I'm not entirely sure you heard the whole dialogue, but no matter."

"Tony-"

"I'm not just going to interpret every secret you hear, Rodgers. I simply wanted you to listen. What their words mean to you is quite possibly very different from what they mean to me."

Steve swallowed and turned to face the silhouette of the genius, playboy, philanthropist. Or the man who thought he was those things anyway. "What do they mean to you then?"

Tony paused, his eyes moving back and forth to look at Steve's. His eyebrows were drawn close in concern, or maybe it was pity?

"I don't ever fully understand what those two mean. They've been friends for a long time, they don't need to say everything that's on their minds." He stopped, running his hand over the lounge pants he wore. "But I do know that I've never heard Natasha give anyone as big a compliment as the one she gave you," his voice took on a sad tone that had Steve wanting to lean in and comfort him somehow. "They were discussing some sort of choice that involves you. I'm not sure what, or even when but it seems big. It could mean the end of the Avengers as we know it." Tony smirked and turned to look at Steve who was surprised by the smile that spread across his face as he continued to look at him. "That's a lot to have riding on you, Rodgers. I hope you know what you're doing."

Steve gave a small chuckle that didn't give a loud echo. "Considering I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing at some point, I hope so too,"

Tony managed a smile. Steve blinked, realizing he'd never seen a genuine one appear on Tony's features before. Snarky, witty, sarcastic, yes. But compassionate and caring? Those were two words you would not find in Tony Stark's character description.

"Tony-" he started, his voice gravely as he lowered it to below a whisper. He glanced down at his lips, full and pink. He'd never told anyone, he'd never even tried to tell himself in fact, but he suddenly realized that he wasn't thinking about long lost loves anymore. He wasn't even thinking about old friends, or anyone else from his past. In that moment, all he thought about was the man that was sitting in front of him, a man that was obnoxious, boisterous, aggravating, and self-centered, and yet none of those things when you really looked at him, really knew him.

"It's late," Tony started, standing up off the bed. Steve simply nodded his head, mystified by his discover, and yet disappointed he hadn't acted on it. "Sorry for waking you, Captain."

"Oh, well I appreciate it. I obviously didn't 10 minutes ago-"

Tony laughed, then covered his mouth just as quickly. He glanced at the door, but they both saw that the light had been shut off already.

"They probably realized we were eavesdropping."

Steve smiled, gazing up at Tony's face. He blinked, trying to remember a simpler time, when his emotions weren't conflicting.

"Yeah. Considering we were snooping around your tower and that those two are spies, it's a wonder they didn't speak up when they knew we were there."

Tony shrugged. "Doubt they wanted to ruin their show by catching the audience red handed."

Steve blinked. Red handed. That phrase had bothered him since he'd woken up from being a Capsicle. Probably because Red Skull's hands were in fact red. That deviant had taken everything from him, even his own century.

But looking up at Tony, thinking about the other members that made up the hodge-podge collection named the Avengers, he realized he was lucky to have known them. He was grateful to be apart of this team, to save the world one day at a time, to be apart of something that significant.

"Cap?"

Steve blinked again. "Huh?"

Tony smirked. "I asked what you were thinking about. You were staring at that wall for a good minute or so."

Steve felt a blush creep up his neck. Thank goodness the lights were off. "Well-" he trailed off, rubbing his neck. How could he admit something like that to Tony, the man who wouldn't even talk about his own father, the man who buried himself in work instead of relaxing to keep his mind off things? "I guess it was sort of stupid. You wouldn't want to hear it." He smiled just a little. "At least not at 3 am."

Tony crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, but stayed silent. Finally he sat next to Steve on the bed. "Try me,"

His eyebrows went up. "Really?"

Tony shrugged and rolled his eyes. "Yeah. It's not like I get much sleep anyway,"

Letting out a heavy sigh, Steve glanced over at him, then bit his lip. "I guess I was thinking how unfair it was to be-" he searched for the right word, "found in this century, to have lost everything I had. My friends, my family, my life." He paused and looked over at his teammate. But what he expected to read in his face was not what he saw. Instead, he saw interest and understanding, not pity and annoyance.

"So you feel outdated, out of place?"

Steve rubbed his neck again nervously. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

There was a silence that hung in the air for a few seconds as Steve had to keep his gaze fixed on the floor so he wouldn't stare at Tony's lips again.

"Is this your way of asking me to show you what this century's all about?"

Steve looked over at him in slight surprise. "Well, not really. I mean-" he faltered, unsure of how to accept his somewhat-of-an-offer graciously. "If it isn't too much to ask? I've been meaning to do some 'research' but with the last few months being so crazy, I never got around to it."

Tony smiled. "Well then, by all means! We'll start tomorrow, noon. Be at my lab, with an extra shirt and pants in case an experiment goes wrong,"

"Experiment?"

Tony looked at him from under hooded brows. "Yes, experiments, plural. What do you think I am, chop liver? If you ask for Tony Stark's help that means asking for the whole shebang."

Steve swallowed. "Guess I won't be disappointed then,"

Tony smirked and stood up. "Of course not. Don't plan to eat breakfast either. Better to see some of the stuff I'll have you watch on an empty stomach if you know what I mean," he winked.

Steve blinked, suddenly uneasy. "Uh, yeah. Sounds great,"

Tony pulled at his shirt and made a sound of agreement as he walked towards the door and opened it. "Sleep well, Sleeping Beauty,"

Steve watched him as he walked away, the door silently clicking behind him. The darkness around him without any company made Steve feel even lonelier than he had felt before Tony woke him.

Sighing, he laid down and closed his eyes, trying to push images of burning khakis and zombie movies out of his head and instead focus on the positive side: he would finally be connecting with Tony.

Wrinkling his brow, he realized he would not have the easiest time getting to know him with his air of uncomfortableness now. Knowing you may have feelings for someone, and yet not knowing what they were or what they meant was tough enough. Knowing they would most likely never reciprocate those feelings was an even tougher pill to swallow, especially for Steve. He'd had his fair share of dames that had sniffed at him is disgust before he'd become 'Mr. all that'.

He figured Tony would act the same way if he knew. And Steve had never been the best at keeping secrets.

His eyes flew open. God, he was screwed.


	2. The World at Our Fingertips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is just going to be more interaction between Tony and Steve, but in Tony's lab where the Internet is at their fingertips... Lets just say they get a little carried away. Not too far, but enough.

>

 

"So I just press this?"

Tony smirked as he glanced over at Steve Rogers, the man who could supposedly lift mountains but was incapable of comprehending modern technology. It was laughable to the genius engineer.

"Yeah, then raise or lower the intensity with this switch," he demonstrated, pushing the button all the way up and then all the way down.

Steve rubbed his neck for the umpteenth time since stepping into the lab, his nervous habit that drove Tony to insanity with its adorableness. "It seems easy enough when you do it,"

Tony laughed, he couldn't help it. "So... 'give it a whirl,'" he spoke in a decent English accent, quoting John Hurt from the first of many Harry Potter movies. Steve looked at him blankly, apparently not understanding the simple enough reference. "What? You've never seen Harry Potter?"

Steve creased his brows, momentarily forgetting about the prototype in qfront of him. "No." He tapped his chin. "Is that the wizard movies? I think Clint's talked about them before. Something about 'knocking out the baddies being a lot easier with a wand'."

Tony rolled his eyes and smiled. "He would say that. The cheat, trying to cut corners any way he can-" Tony turned away from the prototype lying on the table and rolled his stool towards one of his many holographic screens. "JARVIS?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Be a dear and pull up 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone' would you?"

"Of course, sir. Would you like subtitles?"

Tony glanced over at Steve who's brow was still wrinkled in confusion and smirked despite himself.

"I think that'd be best,"

§

"Wait, so how did the stone end up in Harry's pocket?" Steve asked, leaning forward in his chair as the credits rolled along the screen, his face drawn together in confusion and bewilderment. "And why did Ron have to stay on the chess piece? He could have just as easily jumped off. Or why did Harry suddenly obtain the impossible ability to turn Professor-"

"Woah, woah, woah. Hold your horses my friend-" Tony held up his hands in a 'surrender' gesture. "You are asking the wrong man. I don't get into this stuff the way some people do. I can't just reach into the sorting hat and magically pull out the answers."

Steve frowned a bit in disappointment. "Yeah, but-"

Tony sighed but smiled despite himself, looking poignantly at Steve. "How about we do some research in the world of witches and wizards, would that make you feel better?"

Steve blushed a little, his ears turning a soft shade of pink. "Well, we don't need to. I'm sure you want me to get out of your hair. After all, you've got prototypes and testing to do,"

Tony scoffed and then laughed. "This is far more entertaining than any hunk of metal I could transform at the moment. The additions to the suit can definitely wait,"

He wheeled himself over to a different screen, bringing up a web browser and typing in a URL that he assumed would bring up some Harry Potter fan site. It did not disappoint.

"Wow. Is that a wand from the actual movie?" Steve said breathlessly, his eyes drifting up and down the screen at the various merchandise being sold.

Tony shrugged. "Better be if they're asking for that much," he paused, scrolling down the screen and finding a description and explanation of each of the movies. "Here, this should help. Knock yourself out."

Steve whistled. "With all this info, I might just do that,"

Tony laughed and rolled away to leave Steve to it.

Glancing over every few minutes to watch his face light up, Tony couldn't help but feel a sense of joy at seeing Steve happy. Even over something as minor as this. He felt that they'd somehow connected, even if it was some movie that didn't mean much in the long run.

Tony paused what he was doing on the screen. Did that mean he actually cared? Was this caring? Was what they had considered friendship? Or was it morphing into something else?

"Hey, who's Belatrix?" Steve asked from across the room.

Tony smiled, though a slight sense of worry churned in his gut. What if this wasn't just the 'buddy-buddy' caring he thought it was? He quickly blinked, wheeled back over, and glanced at the description of the sixth movie. "It's Voldemort's right hand woman basically. I mean, she's evil and shit. The actress that plays her is amazing if that makes any difference." 

Steve shrugged. "Not really."

Tony gazed at him in bewilderment. "Man, we seriously need to get you into movies. And books. And everything else you've missed over the past 70 years."

Steve laughed and Tony's heart swelled in his chest. "Yeah, that's an understatement." He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. Looking playfully at Tony, he smirked. "What next?"

§

"So-"

Tony looked up with tired eyes at 'Captain Perfect Hair', as he had told Steve he would refer to him as. They had been going through playlists of old songs for a couple hours, finding that Steve really loved the rock&roll genre of the '50s and later the '80s. Then they found themselves glancing at sites about the original Star Trek series aired in the 1960s for the past hour or so. He could tell Steve felt cheated to have missed out on all of this, to have been slighted. But they were certainly making up for it now.

"So, what?" Tony drawled, his voice thick with the need to sleep after having been up for three days straight with only 20 or so cups of coffee keeping him awake.

Steve tried to casually scroll down the screen and not look like he had a trick up his sleeve, but he was utterly failing. "I was curious if you have anything on the war."

For a moment, Tony was mildly confused. But then he realized what Steve really meant, though he avoided it for a bit longer. "World War II?"

"Yeah," Steve bit his lip and Tony suddenly had an urge to bite it with him. What the hell was sleep deprivation doing to him?

"I've got access to almost any site known to man," he started to wheel away again but Steve caught his arm. He looked up at him, his blue eyes clear and bright, his eyebrows bunched up in concern, his lips pink and full. "Or not-"

Steve closed his eyes and sighed, letting go of Tony's arm. He sort of missed the warmth of his hand, but didn't dare say anything. "No, it's not that that wouldn't be helpful. It would fill in a lot of history I'm missing-" he trailed off and looked helplessly down at his hands.

"Come on, Cap. I can't read your mind. Just spit it out," Tony said, hoping he sounded encouraging and not just tired.

"Well," Steve rubbed his neck again and Tony caught his elbow in his hand, realizing too late that he couldn't just do something stupid like that with a teammate. Steve Rogers was not just any other person and simply shrug it off as it 'being Tony'.

"Are you asking for personal documents?" Tony asked quietly, trying to pass off his hand as a comfort and not awkward. He let go, but kept his hushed tone. "As in Howard's things?"

Steve blew a stream of air up in his face, his hair poofing up for a moment before settling back down again. "Yeah," he said and Tony could hear the relief in his voice.

He shrugged, surprised at how calm he felt. After all, they were talking about his father and any conversation centered around that usually ended with shouting and arguing. "Depends on what you need. He's got gadget and do-dad records, inside info about the weapons that won the war, specifics pertaining to you. What is it you want to know?"

Steve exited out of the browser in front of him and yawned, but Tony could see it was somewhat fake. "Actually, it's getting late, almost 1am. I bet we're both tired. Lets just forget it."

Tony paused, but touched Steve's shoulder as he tried to get up out of the chair. "Steve," he said, his voice laced with concern he didn't know he had but felt it immediately. "What is it?"

Steve paused, looking back at Tony. He didn't say anything for awhile, just stared down at the prototype they never really finished from earlier that day.

"I guess I just want to know what he thought of me. Like, if he wrote something down in a journal," Steve sighed. "That probably sounds stupid. Howard Stark having a journal during the busiest time of his life?" He rolled his eyes half-heartedly. "I just- I want to know what the real Howard was like, what the real Howard thought of Steve Rodgers, what he thought of Captain America."

Tony squeezed his shoulder and let a calming silence settle over them for awhile before speaking. "Well, I am not my father, I think that's obvious. But I do know this, Cap." He smiled, trying not to let too much emotion seep into his words. "You've got one Stark who thinks highly of you. I hope that's enough."

Steve looked at him, really looked at him long and hard. He smiled, and Tony's heart melted. "You don't know how much that means to me, Tony,"

Tony shrugged. "Yeah, well."

Suddenly Steve's arms were encircling him in a hug, tight and comfortable and warm. Tony was startled at first but slowly hugged him back, glad Steve had made the first move. But it wasn't as if he had done it because he had feelings like Tony was having right now, was it?

Steve finally pulled away, his cheeks a bright shade of pink. Tony stifled his laughter.

"I should be getting some sleep. And so should you, Tony. You look terrible."

"Thanks for the compliment, pal. A real confidence booster you are."

Steve smiled and Tony smiled back.

"Well, goodnight. And thanks for the low-down on all of this. It was beyond helpful."

Tony clapped his shoulder as he stood up and smiled again. "Anytime, Cap. I'll see you tomorrow, same time?"

Steve smirked as he grabbed his leather jacket and threw it over his shoulder in a way that made Tony have a sudden urge to find a tall drink of water. "Of course. See you then, Tony,"

The door opened for him as he walked out of the lab, closing just as quickly.

Tony sat there awhile, staring after him. God, what had happened to him? Had something been slipped into his food? Considering he hadn't eaten all day, he figured that was highly unlikely. Any drinks he'd had then? Something had to have happened. He, Tony Stark, the man that could get anybody at any time, could not just be falling for Steve Rogers, the Captain America.

Of course, there was always the very real possibility that he was in fact falling for Captain America.

He rubbed a hand over his tired eyes. Sleep. Sleep would make this all better, and by morning he would forget any of this ever happened. It was fool-proof.

At least if you ruled out that very real possibility.

Tony frowned as he staggered to his room. God, he was screwed.


	3. Uncomfortable Conflict Between Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That late night kitchen conversation is going to be the center point of the next two chapters so don't be surprised that Natasha is a prominent character (I just really love her so I figured she could be my main spear header for the Stony ship) (because she secretly ships it too). So, carry on!

>

 

Steve awoke to the loud beeping of his alarm clock going off, the sun spilling in through the open bay window, and the faint buzz of New York traffic far below on the street. Groaning, he reached over and pressed 'snooze', wishing he hadn't set it for so early. Early being relative since it was already 6:30 in the morning. But barely 5 hours of sleep, even for the Super Soldier version of Steve was hardly enough to run on for the remainder of the day.

He was surprised to find himself immediately thinking of the previous day's activities in Stark's workshop. Steve couldn't remember the last time he'd seen a good movie, listened to good music, done anything that good. It had been not only eye-opening, but first rate entertainment with Tony Stark of all people.

Smiling to himself, he managed to sit up in bed, rubbing a hand over his eyes.

"Good morning, Captain Rogers, sir."

Steve jumped slightly before realizing the voice was simply the building's AI, JARVIS.

He smiled and glanced up at the PA system. "Good morning, Jarvis."

"I considered turning off your alarm, Captain, but I was unaware of any workout plans you may have had scheduled this morning."

Steve rubbed the back of his neck and yawned as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "Actually, I had sparring planned with Natasha, but I may cancel and go for a run instead." He yawned again, speaking through the noise. "I'm still a bit tired."

"Quite understandable, Captain. Not many are adjusted to the sleeping pattern Mr. Stark has formulated for himself." The AI paused, waiting until Steve had walked over to his massive closet that was only partially filled and began putting on running attire. "Shall I inform Agent Romanov of your change in plans, sir?"

Steve smiled at the AI's politeness, wishing that it's creator had the same manners and laughing at the irony of that. "If it isn't too much trouble, JARVIS-"

"None at all, Captain. However, I would suggest a cup of Mr. Stark's personal, stronger brew of coffee before you attempt physical exercise to add a higher amount of caffeine to your morning, sir. It may help."

Steve laughed. "I was unaware there would be any of his special batch left at this hour. But I suppose if you recommend it for me, who am I to not listen," he smiled. "Thank you, JARVIS."

"My pleasure, Captain. Please let me know if I can be of any other assistance,"

Steve nodded. "I will, thank you."

There was a moment of silence before a car horn interrupted it. Steve outwardly sighed and again rubbed a hand over his face.

That cup of coffee was sounding more and more tempting.

§

Won't you  
come see about me,  
I'll be alone,   
dancing you know it baby.

Steve softly hummed to the classic song that blared through the indoor track. He had connected his iPod to the speaker system and set it to shuffle as Tony had showed him at some point last night. So far, so good considering it had been over an hour and the songs were continuing to play without fail.

Tell me  
your troubles and doubts.  
Giving me everything  
inside and out.

Rounding a corner, he began to pick up his pace as his final lap neared. He pumped his arms, breathing heavily through his nose, his hair flying back in small tousles in the wind.

Don't you  
forget about me.

Blinking, the meaning of the words slammed into him, and he was aware he had stopped, was bent over, his hands running furiously through his hair as he tried to control his suddenly erratic breathing. Creasing his brow, he walked over to the dock unit and stopped the song, jabbing his finger to pause it.

'What the hell?' He thought absentmindedly, trying to comprehend the sudden impact this was having on him. This song, this change, this century, this life. Well, at least he had narrowed it down to the source of the problem.

Rolling his eyes at his own sarcasm, he swiped a hand over his forehead.

"Too much cardio can decrease your muscle mass, Cap,"

Steve jumped, turning to look at the speaker who had their arms crossed, red hair pulled back and a permanent scowl on her face.

"Hey, Natasha,"

Her glare intensified which surprised Steve who thought it couldn't get any worse. It was already daggers, there was no need to amplify it to killer death rays.

"Don't 'hey' me, Steve,"

A look of confusion passed over his features and he momentarily forgot about his slight panic attack just moments before. "What's the matter?"

She scoffed, shifting her stance to look only slightly less threatening while still raising her voice. "How about you last minute canceling on me? How about coming in here to do something instead and flat out avoiding me?"

Steve raised his hands in a surrender position and raised his eyebrows. "Woah, I wasn't expecting that."

She tapped her index finger on her bicep in a way that scared the shit out of Steve but in no way had any impact on his next words.

"I'm sorry,"

"Sorry for what?"

Steve lowered his arms and rubbed his neck, sighing as he looked down at the rubbery floor. "For canceling on you. I know that no one likes that, especially when you've had plans for a few days. It's just that-" he trailed off, glancing up at her expression that may have softened only a fraction of a degree. "I was up really late."

Natasha raised an eyebrow, uncrossing her arms and instead placing her hands on her hips. "Why?" She asked in a more curious tone than upset, but still rather neutral because that's just how she was.

"Uh," Steve trailed off, breathing out a puff of air. "Watching a movie or two, doing some research, that sort of thing."

The redhead took a couple steps closer, her curiosity obviously winning out over everything else.

"Why last night? Why not the night before, or even last week, a month ago?"

Steve felt his cheeks turn white hot and tried not to slump his shoulders and look at the floor in embarrassment under her questioning glare.

"Ah," Natasha cooed in her most soothing voice, which could still be equated to nails on a chalk board if you didn't know her. "Who's the lucky girl?"

Steve managed not to choke but still made a disgruntled noise. "Uh, no girl. Just Stark,"

Her eyebrows flashed for a moment before lowering just as quickly. "Oh," she said, leaving dead-air between them for a solid 30 seconds that made Steve wonder what she thought they were doing. "What changed?"

Steve shrugged, feeling his ears heat up as well. "I don't know what you mean,"

"What suddenly happened that made Stark a decent enough guy to stay up with him into the early hours of the morning, Steve?"

"Uh-" he trailed off, unsure of how to respond without telling the agent that he had snuck around like a five year old in the dead of night with the genius, as if they were suddenly partners in crime. And that he had suddenly realized he had mixed feelings for the billionaire, feelings that he was starting to realize were similar to what ooey-gooey love songs spoke of.

Something suddenly changed in her face, her eyes lighting up with the realization of something. "I know you and he listened to our conversation."

Steve blinked.

"I didn't know until afterward if that makes you feel any better. It wasn't because you guys gave yourselves away, surprisingly enough." Steve raised a skeptical eyebrow and she smirked. "Not many can get by me is all I mean."

Steve smiled as well. "Besides Clint maybe?"

"And now you and Tony. He surprises me constantly though so I'm used to him shocking me. But you-" she trailed off and gazed up at him, chuckling softly. "Now I don't know what you've got up your sleeves."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Arm muscles, Tasha."

"Well, of course," she responded with a smile. 

Steve couldn't remember the last time she'd been so angry with him. He couldn't remember the last time she'd told him anything as surprising as not realizing he and Tony had eavesdropped without her knowing. He talked to Natasha on a daily basis, mostly because he was fond of her charm, wit, and dedication, but also because he was comfortable with confiding in her. So he automatically knew something was wrong when she willingly reciprocated without him prying.

"Natasha," he started and she looked up at him, her arms still crossed as if sensing that he was about to ask her something she didn't want to answer. "How did you find out?"

She narrowed her eyes, her arm dancing across her other arm for a moment as she repositioned. "What do you mean?" She questioned, her face conveying she didn't like the turn in conversation.

Steve raised his own eyebrow. "How did you find out that we were roaming the halls in the dead of night if you didn't know at the time?"

He noticed her swallow. Hard. "From a teammate." She hesitated. "It's really no big deal."

Steve narrowed his eyes at her, bunching his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Tony." Is all she said after awhile, her voice soft. "Tony told me-"

Steve closed his eyes, exhaling through his nose. "Why would he tell you?"

Natasha smiled, something small and so out of place that Steve stared at her uncomprehendingly. "He confronted me about what Clint and I were discussing,"

Steve stayed silent, a million thoughts running through his head so quickly that he couldn't grab a hold of just a single one.

"He was worried about you, Steve,"

Steve blinked. Tony Stark was worried. About Steve of all people, the one person on the Avengers team who he hadn't made a connection with, the one man Stark probably thought he'd have no shot at being cordial with much less friends. The man he thought was probably callous and rude with his stand-offish behavior. Steve suddenly realized he hadn't let Tony in until that night they had snuck around. He was holding back for some unknown reason. What was he scared of?

Swallowing, he knew the answer immediately. He was terrified that his feelings for Tony, whether they be good or bad, romantic or not, would intensify beyond measures. He was scared he would be blindsided by his feelings and have no idea what to do about them. And he was frightened that Tony would never feel the same way about him again if he did something to jeopardize what was forming between them.

"He was?" Steve whispered, trying not to let Natasha notice his hitch in breath as he spoke.

"Yeah. I was as surprised as anyone, especially when he managed to pull the mission details out of me," she shook her head with a smirk playing on her lips, her ponytail swinging behind her.

Steve's brow creased in confusion. "Mission?"

She shrugged. "You'll get briefed on it in a couple days Steve, really nothing to worry about if you ask me."

Steve thought back to that late night conversation between Clint and her. "What would Clint think?"

Her expression suddenly darkened. "He's wrong about it. Even if he did give you his opinion Steve, don't listen to it." She hesitated. "Just trust me on this, okay?"

Slowly, he felt himself nodding. "Alright."

"Good." She paused, glancing around at the indoor track, the music that was softly playing through the iPod dock and then back at the Captain. "I should let you get back to running. Sorry to interrupt," she said with a cross of her arms.

Steve managed a smile despite the conflicting emotions and questions running ramped inside him.

"Seeya around, Cap-"

"Bye," he said after her, his voice carrying even as the door swung closed behind her.

Steve turned back towards the track, pressing the pause button as he let out a deep sigh, thoughts of Tony making his head spin. What was it with the billionaire genius that made it so difficult to dislike him? Probably his charm, wit, flirt, and every other perfect quality the man had to him.

Of course, there was no way in hell he reciprocated those feelings to Steve, who was in every sense of the word bland. He was dull, flat, boring. He had everything going against him what Tony had going for him. It was pitiful how much he was out of Steve's league, and yet here he was still chasing his tail like a dog.

He sighed again. It was going to be a long two days.


	4. Touché

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this story isn't coming as a disappointment to any of you so far, especially if you think it's too slow and needs to be moving on with plot faster (though this chapter will give you plenty of that, I promise) or if you need more Steve/Tony time, which I also will not disappoint with this chapter. Please give me any constructive criticism or positive feedback you may have, know it is greatly appreciated! Thank you also for continuing to read this story, just doing that means a lot to me as well!

>

 

There was no way Tony could just sit idly on the sidelines while every other Avenger and their brother knew of this 'top-secret' mission Steve was scheduled to go on. He was Tony Stark after all, and anything that went on under the Avenger's name was his business much less what was discussed under his own roof. So he had taken it upon himself to track down Natasha and pull every detail out of her, which looking back had seemed far too easy.

He had casually walked off the elevator to the gym floor, meandering towards the plexiglass that separated the treadmills from the mat room. The former Russian spy was mutilating a half a dozen dummies that stood in a large ring spread across the wide-open floor. Punching, kicking, flying through the air like a ninja; nothing seemed to make Natasha break a sweat. Her face was stone-like, unbreakable and in full concentration on her task.

Tony managed to blink at her in awe only a handful of times from the other side of the glass, all the while training his face into a look of amusement to cover his admiration, figuring she didn't need any more encouragement.

She paused after kicking the sixth and final dummy square in the throat, slashing across its chest with a sharp knife in a perfect X with quick precision. "Hello, Tony," she said, her voice perfectly level as if she was barely even out of breath.

Tony cocked an eyebrow and smirked. "Hey, Natasha."

She smiled, something cold and calculated, as if it took a few extra muscles in her face to pull her lips into a friendly gesture. Her head turned to look at him as she stood up, her knife flicking between her fingers before she placed it on a small table next to her other selection of weapons. "I was unaware you knew where this training facility was." She picked up a small dagger, turning it in the light before walking towards him. "It's not like you ever need to train-"

He pretended to cover his heart in mock pain at her jab. Rolling his eyes, he casually leaned against the door frame until she stopped in front of him. "Forgive me, but am I not the one with my name on the side of this tower?"

Her eyes glinted. "Playing the popularity card isn't very nice, Tony."

A smile flitted onto his lips. "Popularity's all I've got, sweetheart,"

For a few seconds, Tony wasn't sure how she was going to continue the conversation past sarcastic formalities. But she didn't disappoint.

"What's the real reason you're here?"

Quick and to the point, Tony's kind of negotiator.

He feigned a sigh, going for 'you're boring me' but instead it felt like a whiny 'do I have to tell'. "There could be a number of reasons, one being I actually would like to train, although not with you or your dummies thank you very much," he rambled, flitting his eyes between her dagger and her eyes.

"Is my knife making you nervous?" She cooed, her eyes crinkling around the edges as if his edginess amused her.

He shrugged. "Not much could make me nervous, Natasha."

"I've seen a few things though," she quipped. "But I believe it's more the situation rather than the knife itself, Tony." She paused, pursing her lips and taking a step forward. "Why'd you come here to talk?"

He hesitated, thinking back to the hushed conversation in the kitchen he'd overheard with Steve. How she'd argued with Clint. They were always on the same side, why would they argue over something as small as a mission for the good'ol Captain?

Exhaling, he rubbed his jawline with his hand. "I overheard your conversation with Barton the other night, or rather the Cap and I did."

Not much registered on her face. Tony thought he imagined her eyebrow twitch and realized he had. Her face was etched in stone as his words echoed. "And?"

"And I want to know what Steve's getting himself into."

Natasha snorted. "Why would you concern yourself with that? It's a pretty straight forward mission-" she stopped, staring straight at him until he shifted uncomfortably. "Why would you concern yourself with that?"

Wrinkling his brow for a moment, he shrugged. "He's a teammate," he licked his lips. "And I'm worried about him is all,"

Her eyebrows nearly shot up straight to her hairline. "Worried?" She nearly choked as she began laughing. "You? Worried about Steve who could lift 10 of you with one arm tied behind his back?" She closed her eyes and placed a hand on her stomach as she bent over in howls of laughter.

He crossed his arms and glared at her, trying to radiate irritation rather than embarrassment at his choice of words, though they were completely true. He wouldn't have wanted any of his teammates to go alone on something even minor, but after his discovery last night he was taking no chances. "Yes, worried. Any one of us could get killed during a solo mission, and you know that Tasha. I don't care if Steve can take care of himself and the whole damn country too, he's still just a man."

She wiped a fake tear from her eye and straightened up, her gaze as piercing as ever with her small smile. "Like you're just a man, Tony? We're all just people, we can all die. Why are you so concerned suddenly?"

He gritted his teeth. "I've always been concerned about the team-"

"But this is about Steve, not the team. So why do you have an interest in the Cap?"

With fists clenched at his sides, and anger boiling in his veins, Tony narrowed his eyes at her and spoke in the deadliest of whispers. "That is none of your damn business, Agent Romanov. Now, with any other member of this team I normally don't pull rank, but I am now." He paused, realizing he had stepped towards her as he spoke and was inches away. "I'll ask again; what is Steve getting himself into?"

Her eyes were wider, though the rest of her face had barely moved a fraction. She waited awhile before answering in a level voice, as if they were discussing the weather. "He's getting flown to Paris in a week to track down the latest machine HYDRA's built there. Normally we'd have an extraction team pull the plug on it, but it's radiating too much energy." She paused, taking a step back and looking down at her knife to polish it. "I offered to go myself, but apparently his previous entanglements with the organization make him the ideal candidate to go."

He took a deep breath and crossed his arms again, tapping his fingers on his bicep to calm himself. "When were you and Fury going to tell him this?"

She shrugged, holding up her knife only to clean it again, clearly unsatisfied. "We were hoping he'd willingly come to the briefing in two days, no questions asked."

"No questions asked? What, do you think he's stupid or something? He'd know he's being set up to do something bigger as clearly as I can based on the minuscule details you've told me. His goal isn't to tear down the machine, it's to shut down the whole organization, which he can't do alone."

She shrugged again, throwing her knife at the wall to their left and sticking it between two boards. "I'm not saying you're wrong, Tony,"

He cocked an eyebrow questioningly. "So you agree he needs someone to go with him?"

She smiled and Tony's heart sank though he had no idea what she'd been about to say. "Of course." She meandered to the door and had begun to walk out. 

"And you're just the man for the job-"

>

Sitting in his lab certainly wasn't helping to calm his frayed nerves as he'd hoped it would. In fact, being confined was making it worse for him, giving him more than enough time to think about the conversation in the training room early that morning before Steve showed up to do 'research' of the modern world with him at noon.

Natasha's information had given him some idea of what Steve needed to do, so he'd hacked Fury's pitifully protected files and found what he'd needed to.

Tony glanced over at the holo screen across the room. It appeared that he had been the accomplice all along, according to the mission outline. But if Natasha had known, she would have told him. Right? More than likely she would have kept that information private, knowing Tony would eventually come to her seeking guidance. Almost as if she expected it-

Shaking his head, Tony turned back to his prototype in front of him.

"JARVIS, I'm gonna need you to run through these parts again, combing over anything that appears to be out of place and let me know if it needs to be replaced, alright?"

The AI paused, probably wondering why Tony didn't do it himself. "Right away, sir."

Checking his watch again and noticing he still had a half hour before his teammate would arrive, he walked out of the lab and took the elevator to the common floor space. As soon as the elevator doors opened he noticed the smell of breakfast foods wafting through the air. He'd intended to grab another vat full of his personal coffee but upon smelling the enticing aroma decided to eat some of the breakfast that awaited instead.

He walked into the kitchen and immediately noticed Steve at the stove top cooking what appeared to be pancakes, potatoes and eggs in three separate pans.

"Hey," he said as casually as he could muster as his gaze swept over the Captain. His breath hitched but he turned it into a deep sigh inward before letting it out as he walked to the counter.

Steve turned around, his mouth forming a perfect O, but he broke into a toothy grin upon seeing it was Tony. "Hey," he replied, his tone light with enthusiasm. He raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Were you coming down for my fabulous breakfast, or more of your revolting brew that's still in the coffee maker?"

Tony leaned an elbow on the surface of the counter and placed his head in his hand with a smirk. "You really think I would come all this way just for food?" He questioned as Steve returned to his dishes, turning his body only slightly away from Tony, but not all the way so that he noticed.

"Even you've got to eat every few days, Tony,"

"Says who?"

Steve narrowed his eyes playfully. "Says the human body. And with this food-" he splayed his hands over the sizzling items in question, "you'll be set for at least a week,"

Tony laughed before he could think better of it. "You really think your cooking's that good, Rogers?"

His directness put a tinge of pink on the Captain's cheeks. "I never said that-"

"Well now, I'm no fool to turn down excellent food, especially when it's by a friendly and not someone who has poison in the cupboards." Tony pushed back from the counter and took out two sets of plates and utensils, placing them close to Steve. Of course that was by no means a way just to stand next to him. "And I have a feeling the food's better than you're letting on,"

Steve swallowed and flipped over the potatoes with an expert hand. "There may not be poison but you could still choke, or-" he trailed off, glancing over at Tony with a smirk playing on his kissable pink lips.

Tony guffawed. "Are you saying I will choke, or that there's a distinct possibility?" He asked, his own smirk showing on his face.

Steve shrugged. "I didn't mean anything by it, just pointing out an observation,"

Tony nodded solemnly, trying and failing to fake seriousness. "Of course,"

There was a brief moment of silence in which he looked at Steve's profile, how his nose fell in a perfect slope, how when his lips moved they were full and beautiful, how his eyelashes fluttered out in a fan over his soft blue eyes. Even his hair was a messed up perfection as it was tousled in a laid back kind of way as if he'd just gotten out of bed. Tony could imagine his fingers running through that hair, what sounds would escape Steve's lips if he pulled on it, what his hands would feel like running down his toned, sculpted chest...

"Tony?"

He blinked. Hard. "Sorry, what?"

Steve smiled, something so sweet and innocent it took Tony by surprise after his momentary thoughts. "I asked if you were hungry enough to eat all 4 of these pancakes?"

He blinked again and looked down at his plate that was piled with food, almost as much as Steve's. "Uh, sure." He paused, smiling as the Captain handed him his plate. "But if I choke on any of them I'll be placing 100% of the blame on you, Steve,"

Steve gave a quick laugh, something light and tinkly. "Don't bite the hand that feeds you, Tony,"

Sitting at the counter next to Steve, he doused his pancakes in syrup and handed the bottle to him, pointing his fork as he smiled. 

"Touché."


	5. Manners and the Beautiful Thing Called Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you guys are liking this plot so far. This chapter definitely gives it a little more oompfh though, so in case your not liking it or think it's lagging, get through this chapter and hopefully that changes *^_^*

§

 

Breakfast with Tony had been an eventful surprise to say the least. Had he not been so taken aback by his presence in the kitchen, he may have made a few more jokes as they ate, but Steve could barely keep up with his teammate's wit. Tony Stark was the king of sarcasm, the prince of jabs, and the lord of quick retorts.

He barely tasted the food he spent a half hour making for himself, instead trying to focus more on Tony and the conversation. But rather than a private feast, he'd had good company to boot and he would never complain about that.

Of course, the entire time they'd sat there, Steve had been recalling his conversation with Natasha, how she'd been angry in an instant and then not in the next. He found her behavior more than strange, and yet had no clue what to make of it. But his companion didn't seem to mind when he'd lose focus occasionally considering Tony was doing the same thing. Steve could understand though with staying up after 2 days already, a critical prototype to run tests on, and a ton of other paperwork to muddle through (though he doubted Tony spent too much time on that).

He'd insisted he was fine when Steve asked what was the matter, but he wasn't buying that for a second. The deep bags under his eyes were dead giveaways that he desperately needed sleep. Steve had even told him so and the engineer had conceded by not arguing, holding up his hands and slowly retreating to his personal quarters to sleep.

It was a relief in a way to know that Steve could cause enough of a change in Tony's life. Had he told him before recent events what he thought he needed, the billionaire would have scoffed and turned flat on his heel in the other direction without even a second glance back. But he was making a difference. Even Bruce had noticed over the past several days, pointing out how calm Tony seemed lately, how he'd laugh from time to time and how his smiles were freely given instead of rare.

Smiling to himself, Steve folded one of his polo shirts and placed it in one of his drawers. The iPod dock was sitting on his side table, softly playing a classic rock playlist Tony had created absentmindedly at breakfast. He wasn't sure whether they were some of his favorites or not but he listened to then anyway, partly because they were good and mostly because Tony had put them there for him to listen to.

"JARVIS?" He heard himself say as he finished folding the rest of his laundry.

"Yes, Captain Rogers, sir?"

Steve swallowed, not sure why he was suddenly curious, but asked anyway. "How's Tony doing?"

"I'm not sure I understand the question, sir,"

He paused, his hands stopping their movement as he sighed. "I mean, is he okay? Is he resting well?" He licked his lips. "I'm only wondering because he looked really tired this morning-"

If the AI could smile at certain times, Steve was sure this would have been one of them. "Yes, sir has been sleeping the past 4 hours, but is sure to wake up soon based on his sleep patterns lately. I believe your interaction with him has impacted him in more than a positive manner if I may say so, Captain Rogers."

Steve smiled to himself and felt a blush creep up his neck. "Oh, that's good. I thought maybe it was some other reason." He lied, trying not to come off as arrogant.

"He has been collecting memorabilia from the Harry Potter movies to show you the next time you conduct research in sir's lab. He intended it to be a surprise, so don't tell him I told you, Captain Rogers, sir," 

Steve laughed, something that sounded like pure happiness to his ears. "I'll make sure to put on my acting face, JARVIS,"

"My sincerest gratitude." The AI paused as Steve put away the rest of the shirts in the same drawer as the first polo. " Would you like for me to inform you of when sir wakes up?"

Glancing out at the New York skyline that his porch's sliding glass doors gave him, Steve wrinkled his brow. He slowly heard himself say, "I would like that very much, thank you," though he wasn't entirely sure why.

"He may need some coffee immediately following his rest, Captain Rogers, sir." The AI mentioned off-handedly, as if to let Steve know he should personally poor his huge mug of poison.

Smiling again, he nodded. "Duly noted, I'll go down to the kitchen as soon as you let me know."

"Very good, sir."

"Thank you, JARVIS,"

"The pleasure is all mine, Captain Rogers, sir."

Shaking his head with a small smile and walking out to the porch, Steve leaned on the railing to gaze down at the traffic below him. It didn't seem to matter what time of the day, middle or midnight, there were always cars bustling about downtown NYC, people on the go, places to be. Even before the war, there were still cars, still people milling about in a rush. Steve had never understood any of it. He figured the only thing you needed was to find something that made you happy, whether that be your partner, child, friend, work, or special place, and to stick to it like your life depended on it. None of the rest of it mattered. The rest just weighed you down.

It sounded silly, ridiculous even, but he'd never completely believed himself. He'd never found that happiness that made him forget about the other crap in life, the stuff that didn't matter in the long run. At first, he'd thought the Super Soldier serum had filled up that happiness, but being strong and fast didn't make him any better of a person on the inside. Next he'd thought Peggy had filled that void, but she was only a woman, only a brief glimpse in the rear view mirror. Maybe if he'd spent more time with her, if he'd grown to love her, cherish her but that had never been the case.

A small part of him believed now that the empty place in his chest where happiness was was slowly being filled by Tony. That may have been ludicrous, outrageous in fact. How could spending one day with someone make you slowly start to love someone? It didn't. And so Steve tried to push it out of his thoughts.

Blinking, he noticed a black car on the street pull up to the Avengers Tower, stopping as a man stepped out of the backseat. He couldn't be sure from this distance, but it looked distinctly like Director Fury. He blinked again. How could that be? There was no official mission for a few days at least.

Creasing his brow, Steve retreated back to his room and changed out of his running gear, pulling on a pair of faded jeans and a maroon sweatshirt. He left his personal floor and stepped onto the elevator, exiting on the common floor.

He waited a few minutes, busying his time cleaning up the spacious kitchen and pouring Tony's coffee earlier than anticipated but he suspected he'd see his teammate in the next few minutes. He'd want to know why the Director was here and he'd make it known. 

Distracted by putting sugar, creamer and a handful of enticing spices into the brew, Steve didn't notice the Director sit down at one of the barstools behind the counter.

"Is that revolting concoction for yourself?" Fury asked with a frown.

Steve barely flinched, instead smiling and turning around, holding the lidded mug between both hands and letting the heat seep out into his palms. "I wouldn't put my mouth anywhere near this strong of coffee, sir. It's enough to kill a water buffalo."

The Director smiled, clearly amused by Steve's mild humor. "Must be for Stark then, hmm?"

He simply shrugged, stepping over to the counter in front of his guest. "Do you want anything? Water-"

Nick shook his head. "I don't dine and dash, Steve. I'm here on business, no need to get comfortable while doing that,"

Steve stifled a laugh. "That probably makes the business worse if you don't accept any hospitality ever,"

The other man simply raised an eyebrow, but shrugged. "Do you have any cranberry juice in that big-ass refrigerator of yours?" He nodded his head towards the appliance in the corner.

"I'll check-" Pushing back, Steve opened the giant doors and searched on the main shelves. "Yeah, we've got that. I'll pour you some,"

Fury tsked behind him. "Such manner you've got there, Captain. If only you could teach that to the rest of this damn country-"

He felt himself blush, but distracted himself by pouring a glass, handing it to the Director and putting the juice back in the fridge.

Fury took a sip and set the glass back down before Steve could even turn back around.

"What can I do for you, sir?" He asked as he leaned up against the counter again. "You said you were here on business."

"Ah, right to the point. I'd hoped to stall until your accomplice arrived, but no matter," he tilted his head to the side, his one brown eye glinting dangerously in the light splashing in through the windows. "Has anyone told you that HYDRA is still functioning behind the scenes, Captain Rogers?"

Steve swallowed, picking up the mug of coffee he'd poured for Tony without realizing it. "I'd heard whispers, sir, but nothing definite."

"Well, they're still out there, still a living breathing organization that continues to reek havoc on small towns in Europe. They lay low, take cover underground, employ and destroy some of the bright young minds we'd hoped would evolve our world for the better rather than the worst." He paused, taking another sip of his drink. "I'm sad to say that we've yet to take down a significant base of theirs, much less any of the influential people in them."

Steve furrowed his brow. "You mean we've not captured anyone to feed us intel?"

Fury smiled. "Oh no, we've got the intel. Just a matter of time before we were able to use it is all." He stopped, craning his head behind him to look at the elevator. "If only your moron of a teammate would show up so we can get this ball rolling-"

Steve glanced behind the Director too, silently waiting and wondering why he would call someone a moron. Fury was unemotional and detached sometimes, but he usually wasn't an ass. "Sir, who is the teammate exactly? Maybe I could ask JARVIS-"

As if on cue, the AI's voice came over the PA system loud and clear.

"Sir is heading down now to receive you Director Fury,"

Steve blinked. He must not have heard the AI right. Tony was coming down before 5 hours of sleep? He needed to rest more, as Steve had told him to-

The elevators opened with a loud ding and sure enough, there was Tony Stark himself in pride and prude fashion walking out with his famous smirk adorning his face. Steve could swear his knees had become weak in the last moment or two and he was sure he'd make a fool of himself and fall flat on his face.

Fortunately, Tony came right over, leaning against the counter with him and dazzling him with a smile. "Hiya, Cap. JARVIS told me you'd be pouring me some coffee," he glanced down at the cup.

Steve blinked and looked down, his brain not making the connection that he still had the mug in his hand. "Oh-" he handed it to his teammate. "Here you go,"

"Thank you," Tony winked and took it from him, tilting it back and drinking a swig of it despite it's scalding temperature. He set it down just as quick. "Oh, wow." His eyebrows wrinkled together in confusion. "Is there something else in here other than straight coffee, Steve?"

Steve blushed despite himself and shrugged. "I may have added some sugar, milk and some spices, the way I drank it before the war." He felt his lips part after his last word.

Tony glanced over at him. "Oh." He smiled. "It's good, great even. I just wasn't expecting it since I drink it black."

"I thought you needed to spice things up a bit at the very least, Tony-"

Tony laughed, and Steve felt something inside him melt as he smiled back.

A loud throat clearing broke whatever spell there was over them.

"I'm sorry to interrupt the quality time you two are having at the moment, but I came here for a reason-" Fury glared down at Tony from his bar stool. "And I hate to be interrupted,"

Tony feigned a look of apology but it failed when he ended up smirking. Not smiling Steve noticed, which somehow made him happy and that made him confused.

"As I was telling the Captain here before your late ass came down to join us, HYDRA is gaining momentum, using more force recently in their latest attacks." Fury drank the last of his cranberry juice and studied the glass as he swallowed. "I've assigned the both of you on a mission to Paris, France where you're to track down an operative that's working undercover on the inside, or rather underside." He smirked. "You see, the machine you're to shut down that will end all of this madness is located deep within the catacombs. The goal is to find it, kill it, and get out of there before those mother fuckers can grab you, understood?"

Steve saw Tony nod once in his peripheral but he was still going for a loop. Both of them? Both. As in... Together. Alone. In the darkness, underground. Of course there were the bad guys that were trying to kill them there too and that sort of ruined the mood, but still-

"Sir," he heard himself speak. "How do you expect HYDRA to not shoot our plane out of the sky when we fly in to shut this thing down?"

He realized part of him didn't want to do this after all. He didn't trust himself to be around Tony for more than he had to be. God knows there would be shirts ripped open if he could get his hands on him.

Fury chortled. "I forgot to mention-" he took two thin rectangular pocket books out of his jacket; passports. "You'll be going as two potential buyers. Undercover."

Steve felt his breath hitch. No, that would be even worse, collaborating close together in fake discussion, Tony's eyes boring into him as they talked, his lips moving-

He shook his head.

This mission would be over before it'd even begun.


	6. Secrets Shared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So don't hate me for making Tony sort of an ass-hat in this chapter. It certainly dices things up a bit between Steve and him to say the least.

Tony wasn't sure he'd heard the Director right. Undercover with Steve Rogers, Captain freakin America who stood out like a sore thumb in a crowd, who didn't need to wear the stars and stripes for you to know that, in the middle of the catacombs of Paris? They'd be dead before they started.

Despite the impossibility that that could actually work, he doubted he'd be able to control himself with that tempting of circumstances. If he had to be left alone with Steve for more than what was deemed appropriate at this point he'd go crazy.

"Who are we going as?" He asked, taking the passports out of Fury's hands as Steve seemed too be busy thinking and staring at the countertop.

"Two owners of a small corporate company, Troy Bridgewater and Dale Holtz, who went in together 3 years ago to buy up big tech. This machine, whatever it actually is, is your one big shot in the market,"

Tony nodded. "And you're sure that they won't dig too deep into our backgrounds?"

Fury rolled his eyes. "SHIELDs covered all that, Stark. Even if they did, you've got solid backgrounds."

Tony shrugged. "Things have gone south before on SHIELD's clock, I'm just connecting the dots here, Nick,"

Fury glowered at him but chose not to take the bait of the cheap-shot remark. "I'll consider this my briefing of the two of you, since you seem to have a handle on this-" he glanced over at Steve who still seemed to be having a staring contest with the counter. "Unless I'm misunderstanding something, Rogers,"

Steve blinked and looked up, his eyes big and blue with confusion. After a moment he nodded his head after processing what the Director had said. Tony felt his brow wrinkle.

"Good. I'll expect to see the both of you on that twin jet at noon sharp in three days, or else you'll be packing your bags seeing as you won't be an Avenger from this point on,"

Fury stood up, glancing mournfully at his empty glass of juice. "I appreciate the... hospitality, Captain," a small smile spread across his lips.

Steve gave a small smile back, which puzzled Tony seeing as the former was the politest person he'd ever met. "You're very welcome, sir. If I'm around the next time you, uh, pop in for a visit, I'll be sure to do the same,"

Fury nodded and stepped off the bar stool, vanishing into the elevator as the doors closed.

Tony blinked once and then turned to Steve.

"You okay, Steve?" He asked, his voice sounding unusually empathetic. Tony reminded himself he didn't have to act like the Captain's therapist and lace his voice with false pity. And yet, he noticed the tone didn't go away, even as he continued. "You seem a little shook up about all this,"

Steve continued to look at the counter for another moment but eventually turned to face Tony, his blue eyes shining. "Yeah, I think I'm fine,"

Tony raised a skeptical eyebrow. "You think? That doesn't sound very promising,"

Steve sighed and he mentally kicked himself for seeming so callous. "It's just that-" he trailed off.

Tony leaned forward, resting his right hand against the edge of the tabletop. "I am in fact going to be your partner in crime in a few days here, Cap. You know you can tell me stuff, right?"

Steve looked into his eyes, really looked, as if he were lost and needed to be found and that sounded so corny to Tony that he nearly snorted. But that look made him freeze in his place and he found himself staring back.

Steve ducked his head after a few moments, a strand of hair falling in his face, a blush evident on his cheeks. "Yeah, I know."

Tony pushed back from the counter, confused by his teammate's reaction but choosing not to pry. "Okay, it's out in the open now, so I can't exactly take it back-"

Steve managed a smile as he looked at his socks.

"Lighten up, Cap," Tony lightly gripped his shoulder. "What'd Fury do to you, man? Rough you up, force you to join the mob, tell you you'd have to kill someone as good-hearted as yourself?"

Steve shook his head even as his smirk showed. "No, it's not the Director,"

Tony let go of his shoulder, sad he had to do so but scared Steve would pull away if he held on too long. "Okay-" he said slowly, grabbing a green apple from the fruit dish behind him. "I'm not gonna force you to tell me anything," he took a bite of the fruit, toying with it in his mouth. "But now's your chance to spill-" he smirked through his chewing.

Steve glanced up and stifled a laugh, covering his mouth with his hand and blinking.

"What?" Tony asked, his face straight and his tone light.

Steve shook his head, dropping his hand and moving to the refrigerator with a smile that looked more like he was trying to keep a neutral face but was failing miserably. "Do you want anything?" He asked almost shyly as he opened the door.

'You've got no idea of what I want- ' Tony thought but shrugged as a reply. "So-" he raised an eyebrow and took another big bite of apple. "You're not gonna tell me anything? Not even a small hint of anything?"

Steve continued to smile and blush anew every time Tony talked, even as he grabbed a bushel of carrots.

"I'm not gonna let up here, Cap." He swallowed and smirked over at his companion. "Besides, you'll eventually cave... Probably-" he took another bite, trying to keep his tone light so Steve knew he was just teasing, that he really didn't have to tell him anything, because in fact Tony couldn't handle the knowledge that he was sharing something intimate with him. It might send him over the edge into oblivion with giddiness.

Steve shrugged. "Just-" he turned to face him, his eyebrows slightly bunched up in concern. "Women,"

"Oh," came Tony's reply before he could fully process what Steve's reply could all mean. Was there someone else, someone he didn't know about and probably wouldn't have had he not pushed too far? He knew he had because of his response. Steve would never tell Tony of all people that he was having relationship problems.

"-didn't know what to expect, but when she said 'worried', I'm not sure. I thought maybe it wasn't just 'worried', that it was maybe something more?" Steve was saying, his face relaxing though his whole body seemed taught with anticipation. He said the last sentence almost like a tentative question, as if he thought Tony would answer him.

Damn, he'd only been half listening. But that hardly mattered, he'd heard enough to judge the situation.

Tony tried to school his face into something somewhat supportive but was clearly failing. Not that he really cared anymore at this point. He wasn't here to hear about Steve's love life and he certainly didn't want to hear about it. "I'm not sure. Worried can mean virtually anything, Cap."

Steve's face almost seemed happy for a second, and Tony was suddenly confused as to how his lame ass, spur of the moment advice had caused that. "You think so? You're not just saying that,"

Tony shrugged, taking his last bite of apple and throwing it into the trash on the other side of the room. "Yeah," he managed as he crossed his arms, trying to appear done with the conversation. But he reminded himself that he'd brought this on himself, he'd asked too many questions and teased too much so that Steve had answered him.

Steve smiled and it melted Tony's heart, though he knew now deep down that it wasn't because of him. "God, I just- I didn't think that you-" he paused, taking a couple steps closer.

Tony raised an eyebrow lazily, trying not to notice how close they were now, reminding himself that it didn't matter anymore. "Calm down there, champ."

Steve threw up his hands. "You just said 'yeah' and you expect me to be calm?" His face was lit up like a Christmas tree, beaming and radiating so much joy.

And something inside Tony suddenly snapped. Maybe it was that Steve seemed to now be rubbing it in his face, the fact that he was well on his way to engagement by his reactions, or that his last bite of apple was sour. Whatever the reason, his whole demeanor shifted from uninterested to bitch-faced.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do. Just because you're excited doesn't mean you have to literally burst at the seems with radiance, Cap." Tony narrowed his eyes, his anger at the conversation coming to a head.

For his part, Steve just managed to look utterly confused. "What?" He said quietly.

"You heard me." Tony said, his ears heating up as his frustration grew with each word he spoke. "I was asking what was wrong because I thought I cared, but if you're going to sit there and preach about this new thing that's growing between you and-" he trailed off, his hands clenching hard into fists at his sides.

Steve's mouth fell open slightly, his body leaned up against the counter only a couple feet from him but he suddenly pushed off it. "Tony-"

"No. I don't want to hear about it. Why don't you go talk to this girl about it instead, I'm sure she'd love to hear it rather than me at the moment." He snapped, taking a big step back and putting his hands up in the air.

"No, you don't understand-" Steve started almost panicked, but Tony was done listening.

"Oh, I understand perfectly." Tony bit out, his eyes stinging but he forced himself to stay angry rather than hurt right now. He turned and started to walk out of the kitchen, facing back around when he reached the elevator doors, cutting off whatever back peddles Steve was trying to say. "I'll just see you in three days, alright? Have a nice life until then, Rogers," he spat out, stepping into the elevator as the doors dinged and smashed his finger to hit his personal floor.

As the doors closed, he watched Steve's face crumple, but he didn't have time to feel bad for that. Instead, he scooted down the wall to sit on the floor and buried his head in his hands while he tried not to cry.

God, if only he'd known the emotional mess he'd gotten himself into by falling in love with Steve freakin Rogers.


	7. Sorrowful Situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sad Steve makes me really have feels for him sooo that's all the explanation you'll need for this chapter.

Steve sighed, again, as he sat on his bed looking out over the skyline, watching as the sun continued to rise in the late morning sky.

It had been precisely 20 hours since his heated conversation with Tony and he had yet to feel any less miserable about it. Despite the fact he had no clue what had exactly happened, he knew it was his fault and he had no way of knowing how to fix it. He'd even asked JARVIS but he had said 'sir' had told him not to share anything. He had mentioned he'd put his lab on lockdown which could never mean anything good.

He felt completely broken, snapped in two by the way Tony had reacted. It wasn't everyday he was going around sharing his feelings for someone and look at where it had gotten him: sad and pathetic.

That angry look in Tony's eyes had completely thrown him. He hadn't expected kicks and giggles, but he certainly hadn't anticipated a freak out on his teammate's behalf. It had crushed him if he was being honest. Not only had he been rejected, but Tony had acted so cold towards him, almost as if he had grown to despise him after he'd told him about Natasha's comment, which he just couldn't understand.

Not only that, but he'd told him to go talk to 'this girl' he had spoke of, as if he had already distanced himself from Steve and wasn't standing directly in front of him.

As soon as the elevator doors had closed, he'd gone straight to his bedroom right off the common floor, his own private apartment. No one had come to bother him, probably not suspecting there was anything wrong yet. And Tony put the lab in lockdown when he had a big project to finish, so the rest of the team would assume that. But Steve knew better. He knew it was because of him that this whole thing was a mess.

If only he hadn't let it spill, let Tony know by his reaction that he liked him, maybe none if this would have happened.

He'd tried to get some sleep last night, but it was pointless when thoughts of Tony kept flitting through his head at the speed of light. Did he even want to go on the mission anymore? What if he never spoke to Steve again, or worse, kicked him out of the Tower? What if he no longer was an Avenger because of his slip-up?

At that thought, Steve felt his eyes prickle, tears threatening to spill behind them.

God, he was such an idiot. For letting himself get close to Tony. For actually believing there was any hope of anything between them. For letting himself think he could finally tell Tony after the past few days being so wonderful. 

And for being so very very wrong about all of it being real.

>

"Steve?"

His eyes moved away from the screen in front of him, his eyes red from rubbing them constantly to hold back tears. He didn't care how pathetic he was anymore, he was miserable.

He glanced towards the sound of the voice that had come from the door, not processing who it was who had spoken.

"Come in-" he said quietly, laying back down on his sheets and pausing the movie that was playing on his phone; Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

The door swung open and there was Natasha dressed in her usual black leather suit and looking like she was about ready to murder someone.

"Where have you been?" She asked in clipped tones, but Steve was too busy feeling sad to notice her anger.

"Here." He said quietly, trying not to sound as pathetic as he felt.

She raised an eyebrow and he turned away, looking out at the skyline, the sun fading off in the west in the deep pink sky. "All day?"

He nodded slowly. There was silence for awhile before he felt the bed sag a little more under her weight.

"What happened?" She asked, her voice soft and soothing and it was all he could do not to burst into tears and throw something at the nearest wall.

He shook his head quickly and closed his eyes, pushing back the tears that were threatening to spill.

"Steve-" she started.

"I don't want to talk about it," he said horsely, his voice catching on the last word. "Ever." He finalized and he saw her nod in his peripheral vision.

They sat there, looking out at the skyline together in pained silence and he couldn't help but think it was a mournful quietness, as if someone had died. Maybe not someone, but something. And maybe that was just it, that something inside of him had died a little. Hope perhaps.

"I'm sorry-" she said after a few minutes and he blinked.

"What could you possibly be sorry for?" He whispered, squeezing his pillow beneath his head.

She sighed, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm just-" she paused, "so sorry, Steve. For whatever happened to make you like this,"

He took in a shaky breath, trying not to let her words affect him but failing. Suddenly he was thinking about the late night kitchen conversation he and Tony had eavesdropped on, how he had felt exhilarated like he never had before, what he had suddenly realized sitting on that bed with him in the dark.

"How do you know you love someone, Tasha?" He whispered, feeling a tear slip down his cheek and soak into the pillow, not caring at this point if she noticed or not.

She stayed silent for a moment or two before moving closer to him. "Steve-"

"I mean, I know people change, things change, hell I change, but why do feelings change?" He questioned, gazing over at her, her eyes sparkling. "I didn't want them to change-"

"I don't know," she said quietly, watching him carefully.

"I don't want to love-" he choked back a sob, leaning his head back so it hit the headboard softly. "I didn't plan on it, and yet here I am."

Natasha shook her head. "Love is a nasty thing."

He nodded, seeing that anger in Tony's eyes for the umpteenth time.

"Sometimes the person we love doesn't end up being Prince Charming, or that pretty Princess we imagine. It may be someone we've known so long, we didn't even know we'd grown to love them-"

He blinked and sat up, looking at her curiously. She was staring out the huge bay windows, her eyes fixed on some building off in the distance. After a minute of silence, she finally looked back at him.

"Is that what happened, Steve? You'd grown to love someone you've seemed to know forever?"

He blinked, his hand running across the blanket in his lap. "How-" he trailed off.

For her part, Natasha looked reserved, shy even. "I may have had something to do with that," she mumbled, sighing and looking down at the floor. "You see, I meant to get you and Tony closer by arranging this mission for the two of you. I chose you because you were the most qualified, but I chose him because he needs you." She looked up at him, her eyes serious in their entirety. "And you need him more than you realize, Steve,"

He felt his eyebrows wrinkle and he swallowed hard. "You-" he trailed off again, trying to finally finish a damn sentence during this conversation for once. "You set us up?"

She shrugged. "It seemed the best option at the time."

"You- you tried to get us together?" He whispered angrily, his sadness turning to white hot rage. He could feel his ears turning redder with each word he spoke.

She shook her head. " I merely wanted you two to play nice finally-"

He could feel himself begin to shake. "Play nice?" He asked, and he could hear the change in his tone. Natasha must have too because she scooted down on the bed more. "You wanted us to play nice?" He demanded.

She blinked at him.

"Because of that I'm out of a teammate. Tony won't even talk to me, Natasha!" He yelled, his voice catching on Tony's name. He could feel tears begin to form at the corners of his eyes but he pushed them back, letting his anger consume him. "Because of that I doubt I'll ever get to be friends with him much less anything else I was hoping for ever again! I could lose my spot on this team because you tried to play matchmaker without telling me," he said bitterly, his eyes narrowing. He realized in the back of his mind he was acting crazy, especially going after her like this when she really only had good intentions, but that rational thought had no place right now in his thinking. He was angry and was taking it out on her.

"Steve-" she started but he shook his head.

"Please don't try to explain yourself-" he managed to get out. He briefly thought of Tony and him in the lab watching movies, listening to music, laughing at Steve's poor attempts to test the prototype they had constructed. The tears were brimming now, threatening to streak down his already stained cheeks. "I don't want to hear it-"

She stared at him with her big questioning eyes, finally nodding.

"I don't want to-" he started, but a sob ripped through him and he could suddenly feel wetness on his cheeks, hot and fast. Tony said something witty and Steve laughed. He teased Steve about his breakfast, looked at him in a way that Steve had never been looked at before, and he knew that was likely to never happen again. He couldn't catch his breath, he couldn't see and he couldn't feel anything but the anguish that was yawning wide in his chest. Arms suddenly encircled him and he clung to them like a lifeline, letting himself go and hearing Natasha speak encouraging words that he couldn't catch. The only words he could hear were the ones Tony had spoke in the kitchen, the bitter angry ones that Steve would never forget.

He didn't know how long they stayed like that, her hugging him and him clinging to her like a child. He didn't care anymore, didn't care what happened next or what was to become of him as a part of the Avengers.

The only thing that mattered now was Tony.


	8. Forgive and Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of made Tony an apologetic sap in this chapter. Sorry but he needed to let it go so I could progress with the plot. Hopefully he isn't too wishywashy for any of you. Give me an feedback! *^_^*

He had overreacted.

Tony realized that even before he'd gone through his lab doors not even 5 minutes after his blowup in the kitchen. You couldn't un-blowup after you'd gone too far, though he wished he could.

He'd acted rashly, stupidly in fact and he couldn't take it back, couldn't take back his anger and heartbreak and just apologize. He'd never apologized to anyway ever so why should he start now?

But sitting in the lab for 32 hours straight so far with only 2 pots of coffee was doing wonders for his train of thought. It let him take the time to really feel that teeth shattering, bone rattling guilt that was welling up inside his chest.

"Sir,"

JARVIS's voice shook Tony from his thoughts. He blinked, looking over the prototype in front of him he'd begun constructing specifically for his mission to France. There was high-tech night-ray vision for the deep darkness in the catacombs they'd be sure to encounter. He was almost certain he'd put it in other models before but he couldn't be sure, and it was always better to be safe than sorry.

"Yeah-" he called, burying his head inside the machine again as he fused two wires together to stabilize the flying capabilities in the legs.

"Natasha has sent you a voice message over the Tower's communication capabilities. I believe it's quite urgent, Sir."

Tony huffed. Why would that damn woman try to contact him in the middle of a lab lockdown? She knew how he was, what he did during that time. He needed absolutely no distractions... Unless this was urgent, as in something was urgent with Steve...

He rolled over to the smaller holo screen next to his work table.

"Pull it up, J-" he called to his AI.

"Right away, Sir,"

A black screen with a big large play button in the middle appeared in front of him. He wondered if he ignored it if all of this would go away but shook his head. This thing with Steve was something that would never go away on it's own so he'd better handle it now before it went too far. Or at least further than it had already gone.

He blinked and took a shaky breath as he pressed the button.

"Tony-" came Natasha's voice, calm and steady. There was an edge to it though that Tony noticed and it unnerved him slightly even before he heard what she had to say. "Tony," she said again and that's when he knew something was very much not right. "Steve's been in his room for over a whole 24 hours now and I can't help but wonder what went wrong?"

Tony realized he was biting his bottom lip and forced himself to stop as he continued to listen.

"Was it something he did? Was it something you did? I don't like to see anyone from the team fight but you guys in particular-" she trailed off. "I should probably explain.

"I tried to set you up," she said. "Not the untrustworthy type of set up where I try to get you killed, though sometimes I'd like to." She chuckled then quickly stopped. "But set you up as in make you two get together-"

He blinked. Natasha playing matchmaker? Between Steve and him? It seemed unfathomable, incoherent babble. And yet she had said it, confessed it in fact.

"It obviously didn't work. I did this and it fell apart." She sighed. "But it's not over, not as long as I'm around to pick up the pieces for your sorry asses.

"I've known for awhile you've liked him a bit. Maybe the others thought it was just a little bro crush or something, but I knew better." He could hear her smile. "I tried to plant that seed with that late night conversation Clint and I had in the kitchen. That was no accident the both of you heard it together, I don't let accidents happen. I also set that up." She sighed again, a breathy sound that Tony gritted his teeth at in his anger. "I know what you must be thinking, that I had no business, no right to interfere with anything. Steve said the same thing-"

Tony lifted his head up from his hand, staring at the black screen as if just saying the Captain's name could summon him like the devil.

"But I can honestly say I had no intention of hurting either one of you. I simply wanted to give you both that extra push, that extra nudge that would give you the happy endings you deserve." 

She stopped and Tony wrinkled his brow in the heavy silence. "I heard the conversation, a rather heated one at that, in the kitchen after Fury left." She said in hushed tones. "It wasn't what you think, Tony. That girl that Steve was talking about? That was me-"

He felt his hands tighten into fists. He didn't want to hear this. He didn't have to hear it. So why was he? He was on the edge of his seat, practically leaning towards the screen to pull the words out of it. And it was all because of Steve. There was no one else he would listen to this for, no one else he'd do anything for, and no one else he'd cared for this much.

"I was telling him you were worried, which you were when you came to me to ask what Clint and I had discussed. It was another nudge, another push for him to see that his feelings could be mutual. They are, or else you wouldn't have bothered to come and talk to me, that much I know about you, Stark." She smiled again through the receiver and Tony relaxed the tension from his body, realizing he'd been holding onto his secret for far too long. If there was anyone he'd want to know it would be Tasha. "You misheard him in the kitchen. There isn't anything between us. Why else would I make it this obvious for both of you that I'm merely trying to help? You guys clearly have unexplained feelings for each other, to what extent I don't know. You guys need to discuss that."

Tony felt a small tug at the corner of his mouth.

"Which is why I've ordered Steve to get his ass down to your lab to explain his side of the story. And you'd best listen to him this time Tony instead of coming up with what you want to believe instead of what's reality.

"I'm disconnecting now so you can have all of five minutes to panic before he comes down. But know that you don't have to hold anything back now, that you don't have to hide the side of you that Steve's in love with. He cares for the real you, not the image you portray for everyone else, Tony."

He heard the almost inaudible click of disconnection and exited out of the screen. Instead of feeling panic as he and apparently Natasha had expected to feel churning in his gut, he felt an odd sense of calm. Part of that was no doubt his sleep insomnia for the past week, but he figured coffee could easily cure that. Probably.

The bigger thing to worry about was the fact that a 6'0" tall blonde beauty would be walking through his lab doors in approximately 5 minutes and he looked like hell.

He was so screwed.

§

Steve came less than a half an hour later as Tony tried fruitlessly to complete just another small section of the suit on his workbench. He just couldn't seem to concentrate for more than 2 minutes at a time and it ended up being pointless.

JARVIS had informed him of the Captain's presence. "Sir, Captain Rogers is here to see you. He has not requested to use his override codes to access the doors but is standing outside as we speak in a hazy stupor,"

Tony smiled at that, not surprised he wouldn't ask JARVIS to let him in. He was still afraid Tony would reject him. And maybe Tony was still feeling the same way about Steve in the end too.

"Thanks, J. Could you take the lab off security breach settings? I want him to think he can just come right in,"

"Very good, sir. I'll do that immediately."

Tony went back to burying his head in his work, his hands sweating furiously now that he knew he was moments away from the most serious conversation he'd most likely have with the Captain.

He heard the doors open softly about 5 minutes later and felt a small smile flit onto his features but kept his head buried in his work.

There was a soft shuffling of shoes but he couldn't be quite sure which way they were walking towards. Silence settled over the room for a few minutes except for the tinkering of his tools inside the suit.

"You know to make yourself at home, don't you Cap?" Tony said, his voice echoing off of the suit and making him sound as if he were underwater. He wasn't sure how to start off this particular conversation so he figured he'd start how he would any other. With wit and charm, two of his finer qualities.

There was a pause before Steve cleared his throat. "Are you still mad?" He asked in a small voice and it took everything Tony had not to smack and then kiss him.

He stopped soldering the two wires, seeing as there wasn't any possibility he wouldn't get the prototype done before the mission in under 40 hours. There were other times to do the work that weren't now.

Picking up his head and looking over at Steve, Tony saw the Captain looking down at him from the other side of the long lab table, his broad shoulders hunched and his face flustered. For the first time he took into account that his teammate was beyond nervous, paranoid even, that he was still upset.

He stood up, taking off his gloves and wiping his filthy hands onto his pants. Steve's eyes followed his motions and he swallowed. "No," he said honestly, letting his face go blank instead of plastering a false smirk onto it. Be open, be honest, just like Natasha had said. That's how he would get Steve to come to him. He couldn't bedazzle him with his snark, he'd tried and failed at that.

Steve blinked. "You aren't?"

He shook his head.

"Oh." Was the reply and Tony smiled shyly. "I had this whole big speech worked up to tell you that you shouldn't be and now I won't even get to use it,"

Tony's eyebrow went up at that. "How long did that take you?"

Steve looked over at him from under hooded brows and blushed. "Awhile,"

He gave a small short laugh. "Lets hear it then,"

Steve shrugged. "There's really no need if you aren't upset," he said with a smile of his own.

"No really, I insist," Tony answered, taking a couple steps closer to him and pretending it was because he needed to pull a tool closer to his side of the bench.

Steve blew a puff of air out of his mouth that shot up to his hair and fanned it out for a moment or two. "Okay. Well let me start off by saying that I'm sorry-"

Tony shook his head and stepped closer, now only two steps from him. "Don't apologize,"

His teammate wrinkled his brow. "But I obviously said something wrong. You stormed off-"

"-because I misheard you and thought you said something completely different," he interrupted, tilting his head slightly to the side and crossing his arms over his chest. "You did nothing wrong,"

Steve shook his head to mirror Tony's earlier head shake, his eyes downcast. "But I did. I didn't tell you what I really meant. I skirted around it," he paused, clenching his jaw nervously and shifting his feet. "I didn't say that that girl gave me advice on how to handle relationship problems, about a relationship that hasn't even started yet in fact. I didn't tell you that the girl is actually Natasha, that she's who I trusted most with my secret even though I'm pretty sure she figured it out before I did," Steve smiled a bit and looked up at him finally. 

His blue eyes gazed into Tony's brown ones and for a moment he forgot everything else and just got lost in that blue. They were pale but so pure, almost like a river. He could almost imagine himself drowning in them if he stared for too long. "I didn't tell you that I really care about this guy I've know for what seems like forever, that this guy has helped me rediscover myself in more ways than I would have imagined."

Tony realized they were only a foot away from each other now and he didn't know who had taken the step forward first.

"And I didn't tell you that this guy has helped me see far beyond appearance, gender, and everything else society holds against us. He's shown me that I can simply be myself and still be accepted, embraced, and respected." He whispered, his breath moist against Tony's face. "I didn't tell you that I haven't thought about anyone but him for the past 72 hours and I don't plan on thinking of anyone else ever again."

Tony blinked, realizing his breath was hitched. After a moment he began to feel a smile form across his lips. "You sure left a lot of things out before, Steve," he said in hushed tones, his face tilted upward as he looked at his teammate, his lips only inches from his.

Steve smiled too, his eyes crinkling as he did so. "I've still got more to tell-"

Tony raised an eyebrow then let it fall with a soft smile. "Why don't we save it for later, okay?" He whispered, glancing down at his lips and then staring up into those blue eyes again. "I think it's my turn to kiss and tell,"


	9. Forget and Forgive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is when things get interesting between them. I left off in the middle of a conversation between them and this is a continuation of that. I hope you like it! Give me any feedback you may have! *^_^*

Practically everyone else on the face of the planet would have been more forth coming a lot sooner about all of the things that had gotten Steve so deep. But not only was he mildly uncomfortable still with the idea of this newfound change in his sexual orientation, though that had never mattered to him and seemingly society now, but he was more distraught over the fact that it was all because of Tony Stark, the very definition of a fuck-boy if ever there was one.

Falling head over heels for the love of your life that seems to draw the love of others like a magnet is hard to shake and Steve still was battling with that thought.

However, standing in front of Tony in his lab and looking down into his soft, beautiful brown eyes, he couldn't help but imagine he was the only one Tony had looked at like that.

He licked his lips. "Kiss and tell?"

Tony fluttered his eyelashes, though in reality it was more than likely just a blink, and smiled sweetly. "Common phrases I'll be using quite often sweetheart,"

Sweetheart? Steve swallowed hard. Was he hearing strange, very familiar voices in his head? Had he just called him sweetheart? This couldn't be happening, Tony actually reciprocating his professed feelings of adoration and love. And yet, his close proximity to his body and the way he was looking at him, even his words now and body language, were all pointing to that direction unbelievably.

Steve cleared his throat and looked at his brown loafers adorning his feet. "Tony-"

Tony placed his finger to Steve's lips, staring at him and Steve almost lurched back in surprise but stood his ground.

He looked at him so softly that Steve barely recognized him. He doubted Tony was ever this un-charming, or un-witty or anything but his usual playboy self with anyone. He projected this image that anyone in their right mind would adore, that anyone would fall in love with.

Now, as Steve stood here, he saw a new side of the man behind the mask. And he fell in love with a completely new part of him.

"Did I ever tell you about the first time we met?"

Steve wrinkled his brow as Tony's hand fell away from his face and he bowed forward with the lack of his warmth as if he could get it back by leaning towards him more. He felt a slight pout form on his lips but focused so much on his face that he ended up smiling anyway.

"The first time?" He asked. "I was there too you know,"

Tony rolled his eyes but laughed.

"It was in Germany, that function that Loki attended so we would detain him." Steve raised a snarky eyebrow. "I remember some arrogant man thinking that he could take over the show by flying in there and strutting his feathers like nobody's business."

"Ah yes, I do remember that part." Tony laughed, his eyes sparkling in a way that made Steve melt. "But I remember it differently. He swooped in to save the day, to rescue the damsel in distress that was getting pounded on by the demigod." Tony smiled. "I thought you said you were there too?"

Steve sighed, putting his hands on his hips and glancing out the windows to his right. "There was no damsel in distress there if I recall correctly. You must be imagining things now,"

Tony chuckled and he looked back down at him. "I imagine a lot of things, Steve. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised,"

Steve smiled then, something so raw and full of emotion that he just couldn't hold it in. Tony was looking at him intently, his own beautiful smile breaking across his features and he saw him leaning forward, his face only inches from Steve's as he stood on his tiptoes.

"You imagine things," Steve stated, trying to keep his voice level but that was hard to do when the man you love is leaning in like that and you desperately want to grab him and throw him up against the nearest wall. "What sort of things?"

Tony's eyes twinkled knowingly and Steve stared at him as if his life depended on it. "All sorts of things. There's skydiving, being the best superhero of all time, things like that." He said quietly.

Steve blinked and tried to swallow but he was so nervous his throat was as small as a pinhole. "Only things like that?" He whispered.

Tony smiled. "There's other things too," he leaned in closer, his nose brushing Steve's and he could feel his heartbeat pounding in his ears. "But I have a feeling you'd have a tough time not taking me to bed if I told you everything I imagined,"

Steve felt his face grow extremely hot and it was all he could do not to hide his head. Tony's hand slowly started to trail up his arm to his shoulder and then to the base of his neck. Even though he knew what was coming, Steve would never be ready for it. He figured knowing his luck he would be so nervous he'd either bite Tony or miss his mouth completely and either way he'd never live that humiliation down.

Tony closed his eyes and slowly leaned in to kiss him. There was no biting, now inaccurate aim, just tenderness. Their lips met and it was so soft, so caring that Steve instinctively wrapped his arms around Tony and leaned down to kiss him harder. His eyes fluttered shut and he involuntarily made a noise in the back of his throat he hoped didn't sound too high pitched. He'd never hear the end of it otherwise.

He felt Tony's arms caress his neck, his shoulders, his hair. He felt fingers sliding down his back and back up again, running across his muscles and his shirt. Steve could feel his breathing hitch with every move of Tony's hands, every touch his fingers brought and yet he never wanted it to stop.

He opened his mouth, kissing him deeper, kissing him hard and fast because he could never get enough of him. Tony wasn't complaining, in fact he was pulling Steve down for more, his arms encircling his tall frame and holding him against him.

At some point Tony gently broke away, both their chests heaving with labored breaths.

"Shit, Steve." Tony said with a slight gasp. "Have you always been an amazing kisser?" His eyes were blown huge, the pupils dilated and his eyebrows raised in question.

Steve blushed, his arms instinctively pulling away so he could fold in on himself but Tony pulled his hands to his chest and stared into his face.

He smiled, his teeth perfectly white, his dark hair slightly greasy from the oil he was working with on the prototype and his eyes sparkling so purely that Steve stared back. "Have I ever told you you're hot when you get embarrassed?"

At that Steve blushed harder and looked at the floor.

"You're perfect, your cheeks become this alarming shade of red, your eyes crinkling as if your wincing. It's the most adorable thing ever, Steve." Tony smiled sweetly, pulling his face closer to his so that Steve had to look at him even in his flustered state. "And not only that but it's a huge turn on," he said with a short laugh and Steve gave a small snort in response without meaning to and involuntarily smiled down at him.

"You really think so?" He asked nervously, his thumbs rubbing small circles into Tony's chest on the edges of the arch reactor.

Tony's eyes crinkled as he smiled deeper. "I know so, Steve." He paused, blinking and looking up at him in a way that made Steve feel cherished. "You're amazing. I fell for you the first time I laid eyes on you. The only way I figured anything would work out is if we weren't a part of the Avengers together. But I knew neither of us could give that up." He sighed quietly, this little gasp of air escaping his plush pink lips. "But I knew being teammates meant more to you than anything I could offer romantically."

Steve smiled. "You might want to reconsider that last statement, Tony,"

Tony chuckled, pulling him closer so their chest were touching and their hands were clasped at their sides. He looked up at him, into his eyes and Steve felt a flutter in his stomach. "So are we really going to try this, Steve?" He whispered. His breath was moist against his cheek.

Steve's eyes traced each crevice, plain and dip of his face, how the wrinkles around his eyes never truly went away, as if he were always smiling to some degree. "I think it's definitely worth a shot, Tony." He paused, squeezing his hands. "And I think I'm all in on this one. What about you?"

Tony gave him a look of pure love in that moment. Steve had never seen anything so beautiful on his face and part of him wished he could save that look forever. And maybe he could if they stayed like this.

Tony smiled. "I'm putting all my money down on us, Steve," he said. "Every penny I own-"

And in that moment, Steve knew he was telling the God's honest truth, that not even the man upstairs could break apart what had been built between them, and what they had was meant to last.


	10. Brady Bunch Bets

The sun was slowly but surely rising on the city skyline, the traffic already jam packed on the streets below in downtown and the buildings reflecting the light on their windows. If this could be a Disney movie Tony decided, there would be birds singing and flying around him, putting together his newest prototype so that he could wake Steve up and kiss him the way he really wanted to.

But unfortunately Steve was sleeping sweetly across the lab on one of the softer workbenches, his head propped up by one of Tony's pillows and a blue blanket draped over him. Tony would never wake such a beautiful specimen unless it meant life or death for said specimen.

And seeing as it was only 6 in the morning he didn't figure it had come to that yet.

Glancing up from the model he had his head buried in, he looked over Steve's face for the umpteenth time since 1am that morning. He figured he'd need an early start on the suit if he was expecting to get it done before the mission started in just 6 hours. He'd spent too much time mopping about before Steve had turned up and then after that had meant no work at all until he'd fallen asleep.

And Super Serum Soldier Steve did not fall asleep easily. It took an hour of hushed whispers, fingers carding through his hair and hands gently rubbing his back as they clung to each other before Steve even became remotely tired. But Tony understood, he hadn't wanted to sleep either.

Unfortunately that only meant cram time for his suit. He'd been working non-stop since 1, trying not to make too much noise with soldering and tightening things up so as not to wake the Sleeping Beauty he'd found.

But seeing as he was nearly finished with the night mode, the flying capabilities, the ray vision and countless other necessities with only the phasers in the hands and bullets for the guns in his shoulders to be taken care of, he decided to walk down to the common floor kitchen to see what was being made for breakfast. Bruce was usually up by now and he understood the ungodly hours Tony worked. He wouldn't be happy necessarily about such an early thievery of food, but he would be willing even if he complained the entire rest of the day. Despite his anger issues Tony knew he was a softy at heart.

He quietly set down his soldering iron next to his countless tools on the table and meandered through the maze of metal chunks, holographic images, and countless tabletops and benches. He eventually made it to the door and glanced back one last time.

Steve was still sleeping soundly, his mouth slightly open and his hair tousled on the pillow. Tony felt himself smile.

He hadn't been this happy in months, maybe even in the past year. The Avenger's missions, the damage it all took on his body and the inexplicable worry he had over his teammates all was taking a toll on both his mental and physical health. He would never tell anyone this of course, but it scared him beyond belief how much they were doing for people, what risks they would take, how far they would go to save everyone. Hell, he had risked his life rather than 'cutting the wire' like he had said he'd do to Steve when he flew that nuke up into that portal in Manhattan last summer. He sometimes couldn't handle that knowledge and would instead bury himself in work.

Even now he was doing that with a 6'0" tall distraction directly in front of him. Old habits died hard he supposed.

Exiting the lab on quiet feet, he took the elevator a floor below and told JARVIS to keep the lab on lockdown until he got back.

Stepping off the elevator, he immediately noticed the intoxicated aroma of sizzling bacon, fried potatoes, buttery pancakes, and eggs. He followed the smell to the kitchen and stopped at the counter, opening his eyes to find Natasha busily cooking at the stove.

"Hello, Tony," she said in her usual clipped tone. Her flame colored hair was pulled up in a tall ponytail, her body fitted snug in one of her patent leather strait jackets, or what she called her 'uniform' and her body was leaned against the counter casually as if she'd been there for awhile. Her head turned and her eyes were a sharp, blinding green, but he detected a hint of a smile on her lips that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Hey, Natasha." He replied, his voice sounding sickeningly happy. He couldn't help it.

She turned completely away from the stove to stare at him. After a minute he shifted uncomfortably and she laughed out loud.

He bunched his eyebrows in confusion though he figured he knew why she was laughing. "What?"

She smiled genuinely, not something snarky or cruel. The Russian part of her still made it seem unnatural though. "I can't believe it,"

He gave a deep sigh and leaned his elbows on the counter next to her, looking longingly at the food in the pans. "Can't believe what?"

"Oh don't play coy with me, Tony."

He raised an eyebrow and drummed his fingers on the counter. "I'm not playing coy-"

She rolled her eyes and scoffed mockingly. "Oh and I'm not a former Russian Agent, Stark." She crossed her arms and smirked, shooting him one of her patent looks that broke strong-willed men in seconds flat. "Spill,"

He smiled. "The beans? No thank you, I'd rather save them to snack on for later if you don't mind,"

She stared at him longer.

He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly as the LED clock changed to the next minute, now reading 6:13. "Fine," he feigned exasperation though he felt giddy and shaky just thinking about telling someone else who cared. "He came to the lab after I listened to your voice message,"

"See? What'd I tell you, Tony? Trust me,"

He rolled his eyes playfully. "Yeah, yeah. He came right in, didn't say anything for awhile and finally asked if I was still mad." He glanced at her but barreled on without taking a breath. "I said no, but he had taken all this time to come up with reasons why I shouldn't be so I told him to tell me it all anyway, and-"

She held up a hand and he cleared his throat in mock formality with a wave of his own hand as if he was calling on her in a classroom.

"Yes, Tasha,"

She batted her eyelashes and smiled. "And then what happened?"

"Good lord woman, have you no patience?"

She shrugged. "Oh I've got patience to share, Tony. It's your bland story-telling that's boring the hell out of me,"

He scoffed. "I highly doubt you could give as beautiful a monologue as the one I'm currently giving,"

She raised an eyebrow but stayed quiet, turning back to the stove and turning over the items in the pans.

"Anyway," he continued with a glare at her. "One of those many reasons was that I shouldn't be mad because he-" he trailed off, smiling to himself as he recalled Steve's words. "He said he really cared about this guy, that you had figured out his secret love for him before he even had and that," he paused. "I guess that was about it."

She stopped her turning movements with the spatula. "It just abruptly ended like that? His soliloquy?"

Tony smirked. "I kissed him before he could finish,"

She snorted. "Of course you did,"

"It was genuine," he insisted.

"I'm sure it was Mr. Man of Iron. You let me know the next time it happens so I can witness it first-hand and then we'll talk."

She flipped the bacon as the elevator doors dinged and opened to reveal an Un-Sleeping Beauty with major bed head and a tired looking face to match. Steve stepped out and crossed over to the kitchen, his face lighting up more and more with each step he took, his eyes fixed on Tony and he was pretty sure he'd never felt more cherished in his entire life.

Natasha paused her flipping actions once again and stared incredulously at the Captain as he started across the room. By the time he reached them, her eyes were so big Tony thought they may burst out of her head.

"Hey there," Steve said in husky tones that sent shivers down Tony's spine. God was he hot when he just woke up. How had he never noticed this before?

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty. How'd you sleep?" He asked with a hint of a laugh. And yet he said it as sweetly as he could without sounding fake or sarcastic. Because right now he was as genuine as he'd ever been.

Steve shrugged and leaned into to kiss his cheek lightly. Tony felt butterflies erupt in his stomach.

If it was possible, Natasha's eyes grew larger.

"I think I'll leave the two of you to breakfast." She said with a slightly squeaky quality to her tone that made Tony smirk over at her out of the corner of his eye. "Enjoy the food," she said and it was as if she evaporated into thin air with how quickly she left the room.

"I thought we were going to talk now, Tasha!" He called after her and grinned stupidly as his gaze settled on Steve looking at him with his bright blue eyes.

"Talk about what?" Steve asked with a slight wrinkle in his brow, but his hands were busy holding Tony's hips against the counter to steady him.

"She didn't think I was serious that we kissed," he said quietly, cupping his hands around his mouth to emphasize his level of silliness at it all. His hand went straight to Steve's broad, tones shoulders. Had he mentioned he loved his shoulders too?

Steve laughed. "She had the most faith in us!" He said with a beam. "I would have figured she'd have started singing songs from the Book of Mormon to express her joy,"

"You listen to the Book of Mormon sound track?"

"Yeah, don't you?"

Tony smirked. "Of course. Turn it Off is my favorite if you can believe it."

"Imagine that,"

Tony smiled and leaned up to kiss him. It was slow and sweet and started a burning sensation in his gut that made him crave more while wanting it to last all at once.

They broke apart, both their faces lit up by stupid grins.

Finally Steve glanced down at the food. "Isn't she going to eat any of this?"

Tony shrugged. "I doubt it. You saw how quickly she left."

"I wonder what she had to do,"

"Nothing important I bet. She just wanted to give us privacy." Tony offered, barely managing to tear one hand from his body to grab a couple plates.

"Here," Steve said, shoveling some of the food onto the plates and grabbing two forks. "It looks delicious," he remarked, picking up his food and stabbing some of the potatoes.

They both ate in relative silence except for the occasional moan around their bites of food, or in Tony's case because of thoughts he had about the things he imagine Steve would do in bed.

Steve nudged him and woke him from his daydreams. Tony glanced over, his mouth full of pancakes and noticed that Steve had stopped eating. "What?" He asked around his food.

Steve wrinkled his brow before setting down his plate and stepping closer to Tony, as if protectively. And he found that extremely hot.

Tony glanced across the room as well to the elevator area before turning back to Steve with narrowed eyes. "What is it?"

"Thought I heard something," Steve said quietly, his eyes now fixing on the billionaire.

Across the room there was a whoop and a shuffling of feet as if a cluster of elephants were stampeding through the commons floor.

Tony turned just in time to get the wind knocked out of him by Thor.

"Anthony! Steven! I would not have believed it had I not seen with my own two eyes," the demigod was saying, apparently smothering both him and Steve in a bone-crushing embrace.

Tony managed to look past his hulking form to see Clint and Natasha standing with their arms crossed, Clint with a stupid smile on his face that Tony wanted to wipe off by Thor's means.

"What do you know?" Clint said, his eyes fixed on the scene in front of him. "This is something I would have had to see to believe."

Natasha smiled sweetly, her gaze on Tony who managed to grimace at her. Finally Thor let go, a beaming smile on his face.

"I've heard so much about your relationship the past few days I've been away from Earth. Natasha has done me the pleasure of keeping me up to date on the courtship of the both of you," he said, his hands making small gestures that Tony had never seen him do before. He seemed past the point of ecstatic.

Tony managed to glare at Tasha a moment before smiling at Thor. "Courtship?"

Steve slowly moved against him to touch his arm against his.

Thor beamed more if it was possible. "Yes of course. You've been trying to attain Steven as your partner the past week I'd say."

"Ah," Tony said more to himself as he laced his fingers through Steve's, squeezing to let him know he didn't really want to be here either.

The elevator pinged and Bruce walked off, his lab coat smoldering on one sleeve. "Have I missed anything?" He said a little breathlessly and Tony saw Natasha smile warmly out of the corner of his eye.

"Unless you count Thor snapping them in two because of his bone-crushing hug to congratulate them. Otherwise no," Clint answered, his smirk sharp and teasing.

Tony glanced up at Steve who was flushed pink by his embarrassment.

"So is that where you went?" He asked Natasha, turning to her with a confused look. "You gave us this food to distract us to call the Brady Bunch hear to ambush the kitchen?"

She smiled with her teeth and shrugged. "The team had bets among us of how long it would take you two to finally get together,"

Tony felt his eyebrows shoot up. "Bets? Wow, I didn't know we had that much riding on us." He rolled his eyes, feeling his own cheeks grow slightly heated. He glanced over at Steve again who was bright red. "Well, if you all don't mind, this has been fun but we should go pack for the mission," Tony said, clearing his throat and starting to walk out, his eyes narrowed at them all. "We'll see you in a week."

As they stepped onto the elevator and Steve pressed Tony's floor, Clint whistled behind them.

"Is that how long it'll take them in the bedroom?" He asked, winking as the doors closed with a click.

Tony could feel that his left hand that wasn't holding Steve's was balled up into a frustrated fist. "I'm going to kill him-" he breathed, his teeth slightly clenched. He wasn't sure why he was so upset other than the fact he didn't want to even entertain the thought of having sex with Steve. He knew all it would do would drive him crazy and push Steve away.

Steve managed a small sigh of relief and Tony looked at him. "I'm just glad to be out of there,"

Tony scrunched his eyebrows but smiled, his fist loosening. He swung himself to face the blonde, placing his hands on the backside of his neck as he gazed up into his blue eyes. "Why do you say that? Weren't you having fun being scrutinized over by the most bad-ass avenging group known to earth?"

Steve gave a smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "No, not at all,"

Tony stopped smirking. "Hey-" he started as Steve looked down. He stayed quiet, running his fingers on the underside of his hair. The silence from him was shy and embarrassed and Tony didn't want him to ever feel that way. "I'm sorry,"

"You don't have to be, it's not like you made them say those things,"

Tony shrugged, his fingers now running up and down his back slowly. "I could have made it less excruciating by making our exit quicker. I didn't see how upset you were." He paused, waiting until Steve looked him right in the eye. "And I'm sorry,"

Something inside him cracked open slightly, as if a hard, dead part of him was now burst free. He couldn't say what, his arch reactor perhaps, but it felt raw and good and he wouldn't trade that feeling for 1,000 new suits.

Steve smiled for real this time. "Thank you, Tony,"

Tony smiled. "What else good am I for?"

He kissed him then, deep and slow and so good that it felt sinful. Tony pulled away after a moment, a devilish smirk playing on his lips and an evil glint in his eye. Even he could feel it.

Steve laughed. "Oh god, what's that face for?"

Tony smirked despite himself. "I just had a thought is all,"

Steve tightened his arms around the shorter man. "Oh yeah? It's not one that involves you getting away from me does it?"

"No, quite the opposite. And it'll be a little pay back for our friends downstairs." Tony chuckled. "What do you say we stop the elevator and make out awhile, just to show them that we can and they can't say a damned word about it,"

Steve smiled, already jamming the button with his foot. He kissed him as the compartment stopped midair and went completely dark save for the red start up button.

"I like your thinking, Tony."


	11. Loving and Leaving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve isn't that willing to share his feelings entirely so as not to jinx it, so that the plot for this. Lets just say it doesn't go that smoothly with Tony...

Steve was in a panic. It was safe to say he was beyond stressed out, that he was in near riot-mode. If his shield didn't turn up soon he was going to the extreme measure of canceling their mission. 

He had sworn he'd left it on the backside of the door in Tony's guest bedroom. He'd gone immediately to change into the selected items of clothing that Natasha had suggested. Apparently this 'beach-house' style attire with khakis, a white polo, grey fedora, blue scarf and Sperrys were the type of dress Dale Holtz would wear. Natasha had done him the favor of leaving a pile of 'Things You'll Need to Know' on his bedspread and he'd already finished the first couple pages, though he doubted she'd actually meant for him to read it. There were even a few pages towards the end about Tony, though that was a sore subject with her at the moment to say the least. He hadn't bothered to more than glance at those so far.

He laughed as he looked in the mirror, wondering how on earth he had managed to look completely ridiculous with just a change of clothes. He would never walk past his teammates as he entered the quin-jet. No, he'd rather go buck-naked if he had to. This type of clothing was much too fancy, and had too rich of taste. He was a fan of sweatpants, not fancy pants.

Unfortunately, the expensive suitcase sitting on the floor was packed with equally rich attire and he had no desire to look into it until absolutely necessary.

He just hoped Tony looked equally as ridiculous as Troy Bridgewater so that he didn't feel as out of place as he already felt...

Breakfast had been a disaster. Usually it was his favorite meal of the day; the food was exquisite, he had Tony next to him, and the talk was always enjoyable. But the fact that his teammates had paraded them around like a circus act had been more than a blow to his self-respect, it had made him feel belittled, emasculated even. He had never felt that humiliated in all his life.

If it hadn't been for Tony threading his fingers through his to know he was right there with him, Steve might had died of embarrassment on the spot. But that was just it: Tony was always there for him, he never went away and when he did Steve always knew he'd be there at a moment's notice.

It was hard to believe they'd been together for a little more than a day now. It felt like longer. He thought that was promising.

He sighed, glancing in the mirror one last time. There were noises coming from the commons area, where the sofas, TVs, and bar were. He imagine Tony was hauling his bags for one of his attendants to drag to the plane. Steve should probably follow suit.

Grabbing his two suitcases, one for the actual clothing he would wear (business suits included) and one that appeared as regular clothing that disguised his Captain America suit. If only he could find his shield.

"Steve, darling! I must have you come out here for me to get a look at you!"

Tony's cheery voice rang through the mostly silent air, except for that of the classic rock music softly playing beyond the bedroom door. Steve smiled, an embarrassed laugh escaping his lips and a furious blush race up his cheeks. At least it was better than breakfast.

"Coming," he called back, stuffing a history book into one of the side pockets at the last moment and opening the door. He wasn't at all surprised by Tony's reaction, though he was shocked by his appearance.

They both stood there, mouths open. Steve laughed first. "What in God's name are you wearing, Tony?" Purple velvet vest atop a white lacy shirt that had baggy sleeves, gold buttons adorning the sides of the navy blue pants he wore and high-end loafers on his feet. If anything, his attire reminded him of a pirate, not a business owner.

Tony overcame his surprise and winked, striking a pose. "What? You don't like it? It's the latest trend I hear. Troy, or I should say myself, is not only a scientific genius, he's the executive producer for a fashion line. We're both wearing it."

Steve glanced down at his ridiculous outfit that seemed to fit into the type of day he was having. "Ah, that would explain quite a bit."

"Don't worry now, yours is far less revolting than my clashing costume. I made sure it wasn't completely out of line anyway." Tony pulled on the puffy sleeves of his shirt. "They said I must wear this ridiculous outfit, though I'm fairly sure this shirt is three sizes too large if you ask me,"

Steve smiled as he looked at Tony. The frown he wore, the outfit, everything was perfect despite the oddity of it all. "I think you look lovely," he said quietly, his feet moving forward so he was just in front of the genius billionaire.

Tony glanced up and noticed the sincerity in his voice, that his face wasn't joking around but rather happy. "Aw, shucks, Cap. You're making me blush-"

Steve stifled a laugh.

"To be honest, both of these clothing choices scream 'gay'." Tony remarked, running a hand down Steve's chest.

He sucked in a breath, his nipple going hard under the fabric. God, what Tony Stark did to him drove him crazy. If he was more outlandish and impulsive, he'd be throwing Tony against the nearest wall and ripping that costume off of him, damn the consequences. But he knew what that would mean for both he and Tony and their relationship and he wasn't ready for that next step yet. Maybe soon, but not now.

Tony smirked, clearly enjoying the feel of his pecs. "You smell good, too. Did you spray some sort of beach cologne on?"

Steve blushed, his ears feeling hot. "Yeah, it was next to the clothes."

Tony closed his eyes and leaned forward. "God, it's intoxicating."

"Hopefully it wears off then,"

His eyes flew open, both of his hands now rubbing up and down his torso. "No, why would we want that? I love it," he trailed off, closing his eyes again and drifting forward so his chin rested just below Steve's collar bone. "Can't get enough of you,"

Steve wrapped his arm around Tony, taking his other hand and lifting up his chin so he could look right into his eyes. They were big and brown and golden, so gorgeous that Steve could stare at them all day. He felt himself smile involuntarily, as if just the thought of Tony made him happy. And it did. He was happy, right here, right now, not changing a thing.

"You know that I love you, right Steve?"

He blinked, his smile deepening though his thoughts faltered. He loved him? Steve thought he loved Tony too but he didn't want to say it yet, didn't want to jinx it or screw it up by rushing it. Tony would understand, right?

"Yeah, I guess I do,"

"And?"

Steve blew out a puff of air and draped his other arm to hold Tony. "Well, it's too soon for me to say it. I've never said it, and I don't want to screw anything up or rush it." He trailed off, glancing down at Tony who's smile was still there, still lighting up the room. But his eyes were sad now.

"Oh, yeah, I understand."

"You do?"

"Of course. Wouldn't want to waste your I-love-you-ginity yet,"

Steve's eyebrows furled as Tony slipped from his grasp to go over by the bags near the door. "What?"

Tony looked back, a small, sad smile there that broke Steve's heart. "You don't want to waste it, I said,"

Steve blinked and shook his head vehemently. "Tony, no. It's not like that. I'm just-" he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, walking over to the door, the only thing between it and him being Tony. "I'm not ready."

Tony shrugged, trying to duck away and get around him but Steve placed both his hands on either side of Tony's head, looking down at him to keep him in place.

"You're not getting away that easy."

Tony looked up at him, his mouth parted and it drove Steve so crazy that he just leaned in and kissed him hard. He didn't close his eyes. Instead he watched his teammates reaction, watched as Tony barely kissed him back, let himself be pushed again the door. His brown eyes closed, his brow furled as if he were trying to label this, make room for this moment, whatever it was.

Steve kissed him good and long and hard. His tongue snaked the inside corner of his mouth and his hands found his waist, his back, his neck. He touched him everywhere, kissed him like he'd never kissed before. He thought it would make him happier, get rid of whatever sadness Tony had expressed only moments ago.

After a few moments, he gently pushed him away, making Steve back away from the door and unfurl his hands from the clothing material. "I have to grab a few more things, okay?" Tony said quietly, his voice sounding lower than usual, sounding confused and sad all at once. His eyes moved to the floor, his right hands slipping from Steve's shoulder as he walked towards his room.

Steve watched him go, his heart sinking with each step of his loafers. What had he done? What could he do?

Tony's door closed and it was as if the preverbal nail in the coffin. Whatever had happened was over.


	12. More Than Meets the Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is rethinking this whole relationship thing and Nat reveals what will greet them in Paris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SOOOOOO sorry for not posting sooner. I've had a lot on my plate, had complete writer's block for this story, and didn't want to mess it up by just attempting to throw a chapter out there that wasn't good enough for me. But I have finished it after over a month of waiting and I made it longer just to satisfy everyone. Thank you so very much if you've stuck with me and this story and my horrible timing for posting/updating. It means so much if you continue to read this despite the writer!

Tony wouldn’t say he was pissed at Steve per se. In fact, he wouldn’t even say it was his fault. It was more like every time he thought he was doing something nice, or doing what his heart told him, he eventually got stomped on and his heart was ripped in two. He could almost hear the precise moment it did so.

Life just sucked, that was all. And also, he had the worst timing ever. That could have been part of it. But he would never admit that, no. Not in this lifetime. Maybe in Steve’s since that seemed to last an eternity, but Tony thought he’d die in some heroic way that would mean a shortened span. Not that he was complaining (though he really was).

These were the sorts of things he had to think about to keep his mind occupied and off of the present situation which included the awkward silence of the quin-jet. Paris was still two hours away according to JARVIS who was giving him fifteen minute updates, but it seemed like it would be twice as long in this quiet. There seemed to be no relevance to time in the plane they happened to take, or at least the minutes seemed to take an hour each. But that was probably because he was watching the clock like a hawk as each second ticked past.

He sighed again, clenching his jaw and sitting lower in his seat, his boots of the latest suit prototype fitting snuggly on his feet. He had considered suiting up and flying out of spite, but maybe this would be a chance for them to talk about everything that was happening, about how quickly Tony was taking it which seemed too fast for Steve, and maybe even about the mission. But the first two were more important to him right now.

Besides, his power supply would be low by the time he needed it anyway which he couldn’t risk. And he just wouldn’t do that to Steve, who would have to wait to strike, to do anything until he was charged up and ready to go. It wasn’t fair to him, no matter how upset Tony was.

He was also trying to figure out a way for Steve to bring this all up first so he didn’t have to. Tony hated to bring up something that would most likely end in a fight. ‘But they couldn’t be worse off now’, he thought absentmindedly.

Sighing, he flipped on the autopilot, checking the stealth mode, and walked to the back of the plane, sitting down across from Steve who insisted on buckling up. His eyes were closed, and he looked slouched down in his seat. At first, Tony wasn’t even sure if he was awake or not.

They sat there for over ten minutes in relative quiet, save for the opera music playing in the background. That was usually for Bruce, who listened to the stuff non-stop, but now it seemed fitting as one of the sopranos hit a high C. He smiled smugly to himself. Yeah, Tony knew a thing or two, he wasn’t a complete dolt.

Well, unless he was around Steve. The guy made him absolutely crazy, and he had no idea why. Actually, yes he did. His blonde, thick hair made him crazy, his blue eyes that resembled an ocean and lit up when he walked in the room, his smile that glowed and brightened when he said something funny, and his laugh was musical. Steve made him crazy because he couldn’t help but love every part of him. Tony couldn’t remember that last time he had loved someone this much. Not even Pepper had made him quite this happy, although he was sorry to say it because of his complete respect for her.

Still, he didn’t know how to tell Steve all this, that he loved him immeasurably.

Crescendo after crescendo, and still there was no conversation between them. He found it infuriating, but Tony had no idea how to start. He was bad at this, everyone knew it, including him and it was extremely difficult for him to admit he wasn’t good at something. Should he clear his throat? No, Steve would only think he was trying to get him to start. He didn’t want to make this any worse than it already was, that was for sure. No, he realized he had to start this. For Steve.

Tony clenched his jaw, trying to breathe steadily through his nose, but he couldn’t stop the light buzzing sound in his ears that trilled with the pulsing of the music. He wasn’t cut out for this whole relationship thing. He couldn’t handle fights, and this was a small one that he himself had started. He couldn’t ever make the other person happy enough, he was never good enough, and he could never be there when they needed him most.

“Steve-“ he heard his voice say, coming out soft and shy, tired and broken. 

He hadn’t expected to say anything yet, wanting to let another ten minutes pass if necessary, but when Steve opened his eyes, he knew it was worth it. The wistfulness, the hopefulness that twinkled in his eyes was mesmerizing and Tony had to remember to continue.

“I…” he stopped, his voice faltering as he gazed at the other man, who was looking at him with something Tony couldn’t put his finger on. Perhaps forgiveness, as if he already knew what he was about to say, even before he said it. “This-“ he tried again, his voice a bit louder but coming out with the same brokenness that he somehow couldn’t shake. Because he realized he couldn’t let this continue anymore. “This isn’t going to work, is it?”

Steve blinked, and he could see his brow wrinkle. Okay, maybe that hadn’t been what he’d expected, but then again, Tony hadn’t expected it either. He’d wanted to say he was sorry, that he hadn’t meant to scare him off, to rush him because that’s not what he wanted. He wanted to take their time, to slow down, to take in every moment of every day with Steve because each second with him made him feel alive and happy, but somehow he’d ended up saying the opposite. Maybe it was because he knew deep down he could never go slow enough, take his time. He wanted Steve now, wanted to love him and be with him now. He was always impatient, and in this case, he knew he couldn’t stop himself from going too fast for him. Tony was many things, but an asshole to his boyfriend wasn’t one of them. He loved Steve too much to do that. And it almost hurt worse to acknowledge it.

“I guess what I’m trying to say-“ he trailed off, his eyes fixed on a control panel near the front of the plane. “I don’t think I can do this. I can’t go slowly, can’t take my time. And that’s not what you want, what you need. You need someone who wants exactly what you want, who doesn’t want to stop it all with one small disagreement. Who can be there for you emotionally, because I think it’s so blatantly obvious I can’t be, Steve.”

Steve opened his mouth, but Tony had to cut him off. He didn’t want him saying anything to change his mind.

“No, I mean it. I want you to be happy Steve. I do, and I can see now that it won’t be with me, no matter how hard I try. I’m just not cut out for this-“ he whispered, his eyes training on Steve’s lips, his hair, his eyes that seemed lost and distant. Everything was swimming and it took Tony a minute to realize he was crying. Actually crying, as if he were the one whose heart was broken. And maybe that was true. Maybe this was hurting him more than the man across from him, whose face was still frowning, whose eyes were still trained on his. He couldn’t even tell if Steve was upset anymore. But it hardly mattered.

“Sir.”

Tony blinked, realizing JARVIS was speaking through the overhead speakers. He cleared his throat, shifting in his seat to sit up straighter as he listened, trying to forget about the conversation that had appeared like it’d just ended when his AI had piped up. “Yes?”

“Agent Barton is wanting to speak with you, sir. He says that it’s urgent.”

He sighed quietly, standing up and began walking over to the pilot’s chair, but was stopped when a strong, warm hand covered his bicep.

“Tony-“

He felt his himself blink and turn around slowly, seeing Steve’s face look aghast and stunned, but he couldn’t worry about that now. He had to put this assignment above his personal feelings, he always had to. He glanced down at Steve’s hand before speaking to his chest. Tony couldn’t bear to look at his face anymore right now.

“I have to talk with Clint. He wouldn’t call if it weren’t about the mission and I would expect you of all people to care about that more than-“ he trailed off, moving his hand between them. “-this.”

"I think the mission can wait a couple of minutes, Tony."

He glanced up at him, trying to read his face, trying to understand why they couldn't do this later, after it was all said and done. He wanted to take things slow, right?

Sighing, Tony moved to take his hand off, but Steve just entwined their fingers together. He sucked in a sharp breath.

"Sir, Agent Barton is now using very course language that I do not deep appropriate for this situation-"

Tony took a deep breath. "Alright, J. I'm coming." 

Steve just looked at him, stared in fact and Tony had to turn away, pull his hand from his grasp slowly before sitting down, his jaw clenched as he pulled up his holographic screen that revealed Barton’s smug face.

“Tony!” he shouted, his eyes twinkling and his hair sticking up in a funny direction, as if he’d just been asleep and had lost a fight with… well, himself.

“Clint.”

“How’s life on the love plane?” he wagged his eyebrows and Tony just clenched his jaw more, grinding his teeth together to push out the prickling behind his eyes. God, how embarrassing that would be, to cry in front of Barton. He’d never let him forget it. Romanov might not either, but at least she would be understanding. Clint could be a dick sometimes when he wanted to be.

“We’re just flying to Paris, Barton. Nothing new or exciting other than the Atlantic that’s still blue.” He said, thinking absent-mindedly, as blue as Steve’s eyes.

“Yeah, the city of love.” Barton was practically rolling on the floor laughing and in any other instance, Tony would bite his head off as they went back and forth with witty retorts, but he just couldn’t make himself choke out anything remotely close to an insult.

“Why did you call?”

His question seemed to take Barton back, but eventually he blinked and dropped his smile, recomposing himself. “Nat wanted me to let you guys know that the rest of the team is heading to Iran. There’s another bunker there that we have to take out.”

Tony frowned slightly and could feel Steve at his shoulder now, watching the conversation with interest. “Iran, huh? What’s happened there since we last left only this morning? Could wait for your two best teammates to get back?”

Clint feigned a yawn and Tony could hear Thor talking in the background about their best course of action while Nat made snarky comments here and there. Bruce must be listening to that damn music of his. “HYDRA’s been weaseling their way in, assuming the name ISIS. And I don’t think I like your tone young man,”

“ISIS?” Tony almost choked, his eyes getting wider. He ignored Clint’s last comment. “You’re kidding. They’re one of the biggest terror networks in the world now, and we didn’t catch this before?”

Barton smiled. “HYDRA’s good Tony, both you and Steve know that.” He seemed to look up at Steve now, though Tony was trying not to breathe too deeply next to him. “Speaking of which, Steve, I know it’s a sore subject, but the Super Soldier Serum-“

Tony could practically hear Steve sigh. “What about it?” he said faintly, his voice lower and more drab than usual. He feigned a glance over to him to see his eyes downcast, his hands twiddling with his uniform and his jaw clenched so hard, it was a wonder his teeth didn’t snap in two.

Clint narrowed his eyes at them but continued without commenting. “We think they’re trying to remake it. Again.”

“Surprising.”

If he hadn’t been so down and sad, Tony might have snorted at the rare sarcasm that flew out of Steve’s mouth at that moment. No, not snorted. Maybe kissed him. Kissed those perfect pink lips that he’d imagined whispering to him at night. Not always obscene things, though dirty talk while they eventually fucked was never a bad thing. No, gentle, loving, soothing words that blazed themselves into his mind so that he could never let go, never forget them. Not that he would anyway when it was Steve saying them.  
He shook his head to clear his thoughts as he blinked to see Barton laughing.

“Dear God, is the ride that entertaining? How much has Tony rubbed off on you, Rogers?” He didn’t seem to notice either of the shift uncomfortably as he wiped a fake tear from his eye. “Wow, anyway. Yeah, serum, okay, back on topic now.” He cleared his throat as if he were about to give a big speech or something.

But before he could do so, Natasha’s arms came into view as she pushed him off his pilot’s chair with a heavy thump and sat down in his place, his curses streaming from his mouth all the while. Her red shock of hair stood stark against the gray inside of their plane, her face sculpted from porcelain and stone. Her eyes were blazing stars as she spoke. 

“I’ll get to the point. We suspect HYDRA has found a way to recreate the serum, but they need to make sure they’ve done it right.” Her eyes glinted, the corners of her lips turned up only slightly in a devilish smirk that somehow looked more like a glare of contempt on her features. “Even HYDRA has some sort of morals though, so they aren’t going to continue testing blindly on people and continue to kill them one after the other-“

Tony felt Steve brush against his chair as he moved closer to the screen. “You mean to say all those people that ISIS murdered-?”

She nodded. “Maybe not all, but most. Some of the beheadings were for show, of course, but it was all to cover up what had happened to their bodies, so that our government couldn’t take back to hostages only to have them die and studied once they were sent back for ransom money. They covered it all up.”

Barton got up off the floor now, half his face bobbing on the screen as Thor neared as well. Nat’s voice lulled a bit, as if she suspected no one really wanted to hear about it, though they all needed to.

“The early test runs of the serum didn’t work as well as planned. In fact, the victims’ bodies were found to have the tissue linings of the organs, mostly epithelial, completely torn through, eaten through in fact. They died on the inside, so to say.”

Tony grimaced. “What a way to go-“

She took in a breath and let it out. “But there’s something else.”

He could feel them lean forward so that he and Steve’s cheeks were only inches apart from each other. He didn’t care at this point though. Or at least that’s what Tony told himself.

“SHIELD suspects that they plan to take Steve when you reach Paris airspace.”

Tony frowned. “Why?”

She let out a breath and Steve tensed next to him. “To see if the serum works, that it matches the original.”

“And what will they do with Tony?” Steve said, his voice hushed and solemn, as if he already knew the answer. He could hear his heart beat louder in his chest as he narrowed his eyes at the screen.

Natasha hesitated before glancing at Tony, her mouth pinched and he knew that was never a good sign. Steve leaned closer, his shoulder brushing his and Tony somehow found it comforting, though not as much as he would have liked. 

“Him they don’t plan to take alive.”


End file.
